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Thursday, February 01, 2007

 

Beware The Mooninites!


As you guys have probably heard, yesterday the "great" city of Boston was shut down due to "mysterious electronic devices" planted around the city. What they turned out to be were, in fact, Lite-Brights of the Moonitite characters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Several things about this incidient have filled me with rage. First, the "devices" were in place for weeks and nobody had bothered to call the authorities. Its been said that this may have been a ploy by the perpetrators in order to garner more attention to the placement of these things. I have a problem with that logic seeing as it was supposed to be a viral campaign and not a a mass media promotion. Second, what fucking terrorist puts bright fucking lights on their fucking bomb? Arent they supposed to remain undetected until the time of detonation? and also back to point #1, they were there for WEEKS! shouldnt a terrorist blow that shit up shortly after placing it?(with or without himself strapped to it, their choice[prefferably strapped to it]). And Three, they looked like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vanderlin/358766067/. Once again, what stupid fucking terrorist would put a god damn cartoon character on their bombs? In bright fucking colors no less! In conspicuous areas! Jesus Christ! People are so fucking stupid. I had an idea to drive to Boston, walk into the police station and demand a job based solely on my intellect of discerning between a bomb AND A FUCKING LITE-BRIGHT! And now two people have been arrested because the mayor and his crack police force need a scapegoat after revealing themselves for the idiots they really are. The mayor has repeatedly called this incident a hoax. A hoax of what? The defintion of hoax is something purporting to be something its not. Were these hoax bombs? No, because they were never intended to be mistaken for bombs. Your god, they were only as thick as a piece of sheet metal. Were they hoax Lite-Brights? Hell no, they WERE LITE-BRIGHTS!. AAARRRGGG!!! Ok, Brian, deep breaths. Thats good. Again. In and out. There, I feel a little better now venting my frustration. Anyway the American public (well, Bostonians anyway) need to calm the fuck down. Not everything you see is a bomb people. Especially not PIECES OF SHEET METAL WITH LIT UP CARTOON CHARACTERS ON THEM! (Whoa, dude, remember to breathe) In the end I hope that the arrested parties get off scot-free, sue the city, make millions of dollars and Bostons fires its entire police force and impeaches their mayor. You stiff motherfuckers are ruining what this great nation stands for.

Comments:
Apparently the link to the picture didnt work. so copy and paste this http://www.flickr.com/photos/vanderlin/358766067/ to see what they "bombs" looked like.
 
ha! this was the lead story on the news last night, so I assumed it was some insidious device placed out sheer malice for the population of Boston. Then it turns out that nah, they are just FUCKING LITE BRITES and they are in other citys as well. Did anyone see the dudes that got arrested? After their hearing they took questions from the media, but said that they would only take any questions relating specifically to their hair. And when a reporter asked them if they meant to cause total chaos, they said something to the effect that the question was not related to their hair so they wouldnt answer it. At least someone still has a sense of humor
 
HAHA, that hair shit is hilarious. And we probably got put on the terrorist watch list after that rant, bewley. thank god for the patriot act....
 
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