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Wednesday, February 07, 2007



So today I was sitting in my bed, watching some TV when I hear a loud crash. Now, I'm trying to take a nap so I figure its not worthy of me getting out of my nice, warm bed to investigate. Holy shit, was I wrong.
If you know the topography of where my house is located you would know that it sits slightly to the left of a three way intersection at the bottom of a hill. Now, this hill is not extremely steep, but at high speeds with ice on the roads it can be a little tricky to navigate. Apparently it was Much too much for this driver. Not only did she plow through the initial three foot high wall of snow on the edge of the lawn, she drove through the lawn, decimated the bushes, hit the porch breaking loose spindles and destroying the banister, ricocheted off the concrete base, through more bushes, slid over the driveway missing my car by about five feet (luckily my sister decided to park in the garage or her car would have been totaled), her back end clipped the tree on the far left side of my house, finally coming to rest directly on top of our mailbox. Ta-Daa! I think the phrase Holy Fuck would be appropriate here. The car was a Pontiac Aztec (apparently renamed to Rally), the driver was a . {just now I told the story to a friend online and her exact response was:"Holy Fuck", so I guess I was right} 35+/-yr old black woman. I called 911 and summoned the police while observing her out the window furiously spinning her wheels in reverse. Good things she was on top of a large snowbank or she would have slammed directly into my car.
Anyway, the story she told the police she had only been going ten miles per hour. Yea, fuckin' right! You can't make a complete U-turn across the entire lawn, through three feet of snow, going 10 mph. My guess was she was initially going about 45-50 down the hill, tried to stop but hit the gas and freaked out. She continued hitting the gas until she came to a rest on the mailbox. At this point you should be asking yourself, "What the hell was she doing going that fast for?" Well, my good sir, the answer is she was running from the repo man. Yes, thats right, the REPO MAN. At the start of this whole debacle, the repo guys were at her work or wherever, and started to take her car. She ran outside, hopped in and took off (possibly hitting another vehicle in the process). The repo men said they tailed her going 70 down Taft Rd. She refuted this saying that it would be impossible to go that fast down that road. Here, I almost spoke up by saying I've done 90 on it, but that wouldn't have been very prudent. She continued her bullshit story to the cop and I went to survey the damage. Luckily it was all cosmetic and no structural damage. I did find big plastic panels from her car lying on the porch though. I picked them up, set them by her vehicle, and from behind a stifled laugh told her, "here are some pieces for your car". I ran inside ,grabbed the camera and started taking photos of the damage. I shot about 6-10 pictures I think (they will be up soon). I stood around for a few more minutes listening to her talk to the officer then went inside, laugh-ing all-the-way, Ha-Ha-Ha!
Now, over an hour later, they finally hauled her wreck of a car away, leaving behind the improbable tracks of a woman gone crazy.

P.S. Incidently we removed a tree from our front lawn this spring. Her tracks went right over where this tree once stood. If we had not removed that tree somebody could have died on my front lawn.

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