If You Will It, It Is No Dream

Everyone can relax

2007-03-07T19:19:00.000-05:00

I just thought I would come here and make everyone formally aware that I am the father of Anna Nicole's baby. Its totally true. Just listen to my story.
It happened one Saturday night when I was bored and lonely and decided to go to Lookers. After seeing the cream of the crop from the city of Syracuse take their clothes off and shake their floppy titties at me, I was ready to go. But when the next dancer came out I was forced to get a front row seat. Out came Anna Nicole in all her before Trim-Spa glory. It seemed many of the patrons did not realize who she was so it was me getting the most attention. I was throwing wadded up dollar bills at her and she caught them between her tits. A few times when she was on the pole she pretended to be King Kong. I threw dollar airplanes at her and she crushed them out of the sky, roaring. It gave me a huge erection.
When her dance segment was over she saw me heading for the door and caught up to me. She said she was impressed with my ingenuity in giving strippers money. The airplanes she was especially fond of because nobody else ever knew she was mimicking King Kong before. I told her I would recognize that hairy back and dragging knuckles any day of the week. This made her smile and I was invited into the back beyond the velvet curtain for a free private dance. On the way back, Anna remarked that she had never seen so many one dollar bills at the same time before. I told her I was a pizza delivery man and she swooned.
Once in the back she shoved me into a chair and slammed her fat ass into my lap. She started gyrating and said "Oh baby, I didn't think you would be so big. Or have two penises." I told her I don't have two penises and what she was feeling was a king size Snickers bar. This got her really hot and she proceeded to take it from my pocket and unwrap it-using only her mouth. She put one end in my mouth and the other end in hers and before I could take one bite she finished 90% of the bar. Snickers must be like cocaine to her because she became highly aroused and energetic. Before I knew what was happening my pants were at my ankles and my cock was stuck inside her. We banged furiously and at one point I say the bouncer shake his head and say "Damn, kid musta given that bitch a Snickers!" That shit made me laugh and the ensuing convulsions made me bust all up in that. Whoops. Lets hope she's had enough abortions to fuck up her uterus.
I peeled off a few bills and tossed them on the panting Anna lying exhausted on the chair. "Here, go buy yourself some Trim-Spa or cocaine and lose some weight. Maybe you wont have a heart attack next time somebody fucks you." I made my way past the bouncer who gave me a sly smile and winked at me. "You just made her night li'l nigga." After opening the door to leave I took one last look inside and saw Anna at the vending machine. She bought a Snickers.

Well everyone, that's how it happened. I am not ashamed to let the truth be known. Yes, I had sexual intercourse with Anna Nicole Smith which resulted in pregnancy. Once the courts find out about this and the paternity test verifies it, I will be one rich motha fucka. I think. She does have Millions and Millions of dollars right? Right!? Because if she doesn't then the whole story I told you was a lie. Anna who? I'm not taking care of no broke-ass dead woman's baby.

Regrets Only

2007-02-24T21:31:00.000-05:00

It is with great sadness in my heart that I reluctantly decline my invitation to this year's St. Peever's Day debauchery. Last year was the most fun I've had since the Carter administration and I was hoping for even half that much fun this year, however I will be on the sidelines in Syracuse. Unfortunately the timing of my trip to Spain is not a complete cockblock, but pretty damn close. I'm getting back the 14th, the 15th being a day of rest, and then it's back to work for me.

Listen: If you guys jerk me off enough you just might convince me to come down. I always have sundays off and I could conceivably take Saturday off, leaving the weekend open for debaucherous activity. I could come down Friday evening and get things rolling. I'm not sure if I'll want to drive because I'm a pussy. I'll just be way too tired. If anyone else from the syracuse area wants to head down Friday not I could possibly be convinced. I want to go, and I'll probably make a last-minute decision when i get back, depending on how lag I'm running with my processor. We'll see boys....

My New Mix

2007-02-21T22:34:00.000-05:00

No pretentions here, boys and girls. I felt like making a mix and that's what I did. There isn't much of a theme. I was feeling a little down so I tried to keep it upbeat, or at least relatively fast paced, although there are admittedly some dark-themed songs on here. It's impossible to supress the darkness within, so you have to flirt with it a little to show you aren't scared. Anyway, there aren't really any songs on here that I feel are a stretch, or present for the sake of trying new shit. You'll notice a couple self-indulgent songs but like I said, this mix is for me. Just an overall solid feel, I think. Check it out:

1. The Shins - Sleeping Lessons
2. Dropkick Murphys - I'm Shipping Up to Boston
3. ....Trail of the Dead - Another Morning Stoner
4. Walkmen - The Rat
5. Black Keys - When the Lights Go Out
6. Band of Horses - The Funeral
7. Stephen Malkmus - It Kills
8. Badly Drawn Boy - Camping Next to Water
9. Modest Mouse - Dramamine
10. Tom Waits - Clap Hands
11. Massive Attack - Angel
12. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Red Eyes and Tears
13. Murder City Devils - Rum to Whiskey
14. Nick Cave - The Mercy Seat
15. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Satan Said Dance
16. The Knife - Heartbeats
17. Arcade Fire - In the Back Seat
18. Built to Spill - Strange
19. K-OS - Hallelujah

"I thought he was a bitter man"

2007-02-21T19:24:00.001-05:00

I discussed with Trent the other night about how I like to look up and down a subway train and assess the overall dynamic the people present are creating as well as try to figure out what each individual is thinking about. I decided that it as good as anything to Blog about so you may see multiple posts related to the observations I make over the course of time.

I'll start with the experience I had a few nights ago: "The subway car full of people with giant noses"

7:26 P.M. - 34th street stop - Q train

I look up from my Time Magazine article about Barack Obama and I do a quick rundown of the passengers. "Damn" I say to myself. Everyone on this train has a gigantic nose. Not a large-but-fits-the-big-head nose, but actual gargantuan noses that protrude far into the world as if they own the air they inhale. One, two, three, four [headed to 14th st. - Union Square], five, six, oh my god....seven, eight! Eight people with a nose that makes it looks as though they all share the same genetic code of Steve Martin in Roxanne! As I look into each person's eyes, trying all the time to keep my focus from moving towards their honker, I can see that they are not embarrassed by their mighty extremity. Instead, they seem to draw confidence as if they know they've entered a domain where [arrive at 14th st. - Union Square] big ast noses are the majority. All this schnoz pondering causes me to hack at a large, crooked booger in my rather large nostril and I realize at this point that I miscounted "nine....I forgot myself." I go back to reading Time and by the time we get to Canal St., I look up and see that everyone of my brethren have left the train and have been replaced by a gang of small sniffer wannabes.

2007-02-21T19:24:00.000-05:00

Unbelievable!

2007-02-07T12:15:00.000-05:00

So today I was sitting in my bed, watching some TV when I hear a loud crash. Now, I'm trying to take a nap so I figure its not worthy of me getting out of my nice, warm bed to investigate. Holy shit, was I wrong.
If you know the topography of where my house is located you would know that it sits slightly to the left of a three way intersection at the bottom of a hill. Now, this hill is not extremely steep, but at high speeds with ice on the roads it can be a little tricky to navigate. Apparently it was Much too much for this driver. Not only did she plow through the initial three foot high wall of snow on the edge of the lawn, she drove through the lawn, decimated the bushes, hit the porch breaking loose spindles and destroying the banister, ricocheted off the concrete base, through more bushes, slid over the driveway missing my car by about five feet (luckily my sister decided to park in the garage or her car would have been totaled), her back end clipped the tree on the far left side of my house, finally coming to rest directly on top of our mailbox. Ta-Daa! I think the phrase Holy Fuck would be appropriate here. The car was a Pontiac Aztec (apparently renamed to Rally), the driver was a . {just now I told the story to a friend online and her exact response was:"Holy Fuck", so I guess I was right} 35+/-yr old black woman. I called 911 and summoned the police while observing her out the window furiously spinning her wheels in reverse. Good things she was on top of a large snowbank or she would have slammed directly into my car.
Anyway, the story she told the police she had only been going ten miles per hour. Yea, fuckin' right! You can't make a complete U-turn across the entire lawn, through three feet of snow, going 10 mph. My guess was she was initially going about 45-50 down the hill, tried to stop but hit the gas and freaked out. She continued hitting the gas until she came to a rest on the mailbox. At this point you should be asking yourself, "What the hell was she doing going that fast for?" Well, my good sir, the answer is she was running from the repo man. Yes, thats right, the REPO MAN. At the start of this whole debacle, the repo guys were at her work or wherever, and started to take her car. She ran outside, hopped in and took off (possibly hitting another vehicle in the process). The repo men said they tailed her going 70 down Taft Rd. She refuted this saying that it would be impossible to go that fast down that road. Here, I almost spoke up by saying I've done 90 on it, but that wouldn't have been very prudent. She continued her bullshit story to the cop and I went to survey the damage. Luckily it was all cosmetic and no structural damage. I did find big plastic panels from her car lying on the porch though. I picked them up, set them by her vehicle, and from behind a stifled laugh told her, "here are some pieces for your car". I ran inside ,grabbed the camera and started taking photos of the damage. I shot about 6-10 pictures I think (they will be up soon). I stood around for a few more minutes listening to her talk to the officer then went inside, laugh-ing all-the-way, Ha-Ha-Ha!
Now, over an hour later, they finally hauled her wreck of a car away, leaving behind the improbable tracks of a woman gone crazy.

P.S. Incidently we removed a tree from our front lawn this spring. Her tracks went right over where this tree once stood. If we had not removed that tree somebody could have died on my front lawn.

More Lebowski Fun

2007-02-04T11:01:00.000-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuCRJsR5Rpo

Music Moves Me

2007-02-04T02:50:00.000-05:00

Hey, Mike Y, why don't you do us all a favor and post the new Beirut EP on the blog. We got it at borders - it is officially released Tuesday - and it's sweeter than cherries. Each of the five songs moves me in a way I haven't felt in some time, although admittedly I haven't been performing at my usual rate of music discovery. So hook up up, why don't you?

Actuelly, the best thing about this Ep will be our ability to comment on it. Clap Your Hands was too difficult and here's why: We liked their previous album way to much, while in fact this release isn't all that good. Here's what's up broken down mathematicaly:

From the first 5 tracks -
I am insanely in love with one track.
There are 2.5 tracks which I like in a new Decemberists sort of way, meaning each songs sounds great initially, but upon further review does not appear to be anything which one could listen to over and over (no pun intended) again. Unless, of course, you do not agree with my assesment of the Decemberists new shit.
There are 2.5 tracks which are technically solid, and I liked them within 2 listens and I'll still listen to them today. But, when my Ipod gets reorganized they will no longer exist to me except on a burned cd. There's nothing wrong with this and it's decent music. My point is that this album is not a sufficient follow-up to their first album, so raw and pure.

Finally we arrive at anything past track 5:

Songs range from so-so to horrendous. The odds are almost 1-1 the I delete "Yankee Go Home" from my computer. The reason at least half of this album does not work, the way I see it, it the increased emphasis on productoion value. When CYHSY sent their first album into where ever they sent it to, it was pure heart. Their self-titled work was, to use a cliche, their blood, sweat and tears. They cared about what they were playing and singing about in the way only an album with no store-bought production can. Now, of course, they still want to be the best they can be, but when you have people pulling on your sleave from both sides it becomes occasionally dificult to match such a heart-felt vocal completely with the music. I guess I see music which has evolved to leave some of the core aspects of the artwork as a whole - a privative artwork which we loved so much the first time around - behind in an unreformed state. I hope Clap Your Hands does not become The caveman in the Geico comercial: evelved in theory but left behind in spirit.

Ladies and Gentlemen: We Got Him!

2007-02-02T00:10:00.000-05:00

No, not Osama. He's still out there. No, this is a continuation of my previous post. We officially have our freedom back because we got the guy pilfering 15 disks at a time from Borders. Now, borders probably doesn't need the money, but do really really need a guy with 2 priors and a coke habbit ravaging our retail stores? ( I know this cause the cops told me, if you're wondering)Probably not. I mean, this guy has a tough life. Hopefully they treat him well in prison. It is with mixed emotions that a relay to you the notion that it is now once again safe to shop for books at Borders, Syracuse.

It's Cold and Dark, Here's Some Inspiration

2007-02-01T23:56:00.000-05:00

A few weekends ago I had a lot of fun. Vassallo and Trent were up, Mike Y stopped by, so did various other people from our high school days. It was a fun weekend filled with laughs and wild times and the only thing that felt different to me was that I wasn't stoned. Well, one more thing felt different, and that was during the first couple minutes of our reaquaintance with one another I seemed to feel all the pressure from "real-life" evaporate into the air before we could get down to business as old pals. We all know these pressures: Stevy goes to a job he hates but does pretty well, Trent works for little money in a place where you need big money, Mike Y works like a slave and I dream, occasionally, of what my life has become and where it's going. We all engage in our own little race against the clock, and as hard as this might be at times, we all make it through the dark night and wake up in the morning with a little humor. Because life has no blueprints, we couldn't imagine where we are now, and can't imagine where we're going. Our deal, though, ensures that we'll always be able to get through our days, our weeks, our months....and onto the next occasion where we have carefree times. The reason for this is that we know how to think. We are "well-adjusted." We can look at a situation and see gravity when it's time, and we can look at something maddening and laugh like we're on a cloud. David Foster Wallace gave a commencement speech in 05 that'll knock your socks off - it'll help you through your day. I read it a while back, but found it today in Non-Required Reading, a short fiction compilation edited by Dave Eggers. So I read it on my break and it once again removed me from my body and had me floating about the whole machinery of syracuse like the enlightened one for a while. I urge you all to read:

http://www.marginalia.org/dfw_kenyon_commencement.html

Beware The Mooninites!

2007-02-01T12:56:00.000-05:00

As you guys have probably heard, yesterday the "great" city of Boston was shut down due to "mysterious electronic devices" planted around the city. What they turned out to be were, in fact, Lite-Brights of the Moonitite characters from Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Several things about this incidient have filled me with rage. First, the "devices" were in place for weeks and nobody had bothered to call the authorities. Its been said that this may have been a ploy by the perpetrators in order to garner more attention to the placement of these things. I have a problem with that logic seeing as it was supposed to be a viral campaign and not a a mass media promotion. Second, what fucking terrorist puts bright fucking lights on their fucking bomb? Arent they supposed to remain undetected until the time of detonation? and also back to point #1, they were there for WEEKS! shouldnt a terrorist blow that shit up shortly after placing it?(with or without himself strapped to it, their choice[prefferably strapped to it]). And Three, they looked like this: http://www.flickr.com/photos/vanderlin/358766067/. Once again, what stupid fucking terrorist would put a god damn cartoon character on their bombs? In bright fucking colors no less! In conspicuous areas! Jesus Christ! People are so fucking stupid. I had an idea to drive to Boston, walk into the police station and demand a job based solely on my intellect of discerning between a bomb AND A FUCKING LITE-BRIGHT! And now two people have been arrested because the mayor and his crack police force need a scapegoat after revealing themselves for the idiots they really are. The mayor has repeatedly called this incident a hoax. A hoax of what? The defintion of hoax is something purporting to be something its not. Were these hoax bombs? No, because they were never intended to be mistaken for bombs. Your god, they were only as thick as a piece of sheet metal. Were they hoax Lite-Brights? Hell no, they WERE LITE-BRIGHTS!. AAARRRGGG!!! Ok, Brian, deep breaths. Thats good. Again. In and out. There, I feel a little better now venting my frustration. Anyway the American public (well, Bostonians anyway) need to calm the fuck down. Not everything you see is a bomb people. Especially not PIECES OF SHEET METAL WITH LIT UP CARTOON CHARACTERS ON THEM! (Whoa, dude, remember to breathe) In the end I hope that the arrested parties get off scot-free, sue the city, make millions of dollars and Bostons fires its entire police force and impeaches their mayor. You stiff motherfuckers are ruining what this great nation stands for.

Ever Thus the Deadbeats

2007-01-31T08:25:00.000-05:00

Obviously you're not a golfer....

Fear and Loathing in a Borders Superstore

2007-01-30T00:39:00.000-05:00

OK, so get this: There's been this guy who's tried to steal some dvds from us twice in the past two weeks. Both times I foiled his plans with the help of other staff members. This guy is so obvious. He's a bummy-looking black man who stacks up dvds by the dozen, including more than one copy of each new release usually. He's so bad that we know him not only by the suspicious activities in which he partakes, but we know what he looks like. We know to get in his face the moment he walks in the door, to not let him out of our sight, and to take the bag away when he's decided he can't get away with stealing the items. Why he wasn't banned from the store previously, I do not know. You know I hate wasting times - hate to play silly games. But I do know, though, that he stole from us today. Game Over.

For one hour today I was at the register by the parking lot, so I wasn't on my watch dog duty. The thief walks in and starts his usual act of idoicy, hoarding handfuls of dvds into a bag. I hear over the radio that he is doing this and kind of chuckle because I thought I knew what was going to happen. I thought he was going to play this game and leave the store. This time, however, someone failed to follow him closely and he decided to simply walk out. I saw him coming toward my exit so I get between him and the door and say "Sir, the police are outside, I suggest you leave the movies here or else you'll be arrested." A blatant lie, but quick thinking nonetheless. I'm blocking most of the door, by the way, but this guy just ignores me and squeezes by, right out the door, alarms blaring the whole way. Now, I know I could have taken this guy, but corporate policy dictates that I cannot do anything. So he walks right out the door.

What would Hunter S. Thompson say of the obviously degenerate state of humanity? Dr. Thompson, to be sure, would have maced this guy and lectured him about the American Dream while he waited for the police to show up. He would have disregarded the rules and would have brought this thief to justice. But here I am, knowing full well that i could have done something yet I chose to play the corporate game. Why? So I can keep my job? So I can feel bad about letting a thief walk right out the door? He wasn't stealing from me, but there are certain principles we live by that make society decent. So in that sense he was stealing from me. He was stealing from all of us. He was stealing our freedom - walking on the American Dream like it was that soggy carpet at the mall entrance encrusted with salt and caked with cinders. He made me want to crawl into that cave in which people like Kurt Vonnegut - people disgusted with humanity - reside for much of their day. Next time I will be waiting for you, you bummy-looking man. Next time it's game over.

New Mix

2007-01-26T21:53:00.000-05:00

Figured you fellas would wanna check this out. This is a mix I made a little while back, and I honestly think this is one of the better ones that I have done. It has a nocturnal, overcast type feel to it to the selection, and I think the tracks flow well together. Some are new, some old; some are popular and others aren't. Give it a listen around bedtime for full effect. I'm getting better at the whole DJ part, and all in all I'm pretty proud of it. Plus I made cover art with a monkey holding miniture cymbals.

Download it Here

And now for the tracklist

01 - Califone - One
02 - El Perro Del Mar - Shake It Off
03 - Benoît Pioulard - Ext. Leslie Park
04 - Koushik - None In Mind
05 - Amy Winehouse - Back To Black
06 - M. Ward - Lets Dance
07 - Aeroc - A Little Something
08 - Bert Jansch - Courting Blues
09 - Cat Power - Cross Bones Style
10 - Interpol - Hands Away
11 - Cold War Kids - Hang Me Up To Dry
12 - Milosh - Push
13 - Thom Yorke - The Clock
14 - The Books - That Right Aint Shit
15 - Jackson C. Frank - Blues Run The Game
16 - Broadcast - Tender Buttons
17 - The Rapture - Love Is All
18 - Piers Faccini - Sharpening Bone
19 - Fiest - When I Was A Young Girl
20 - Cougars - I Wish It Would Rain
21 - Prefuse 73 - Vikings
22 - Dani Siciliano - Be My Producer
23 - Junior Boys - In The Morning
24 - New Young Pony Club - Hiding In The Staircase
25 - Architecture In Helsinki - Do The Whirlwind
26 - Broken Social Scene - All My Friends

Let me know what you think, friends.

Mixbrigade; worldwide

Clap Your Hands Say Thunder!

2007-01-19T23:02:00.001-05:00

Okay; first installment of my hopefully semi-frequent postings. I promised you some music, so I figured I'd hit you with the good stuff.

Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - Some Loud Thunder

This is a zip file, so download it much like we did with the mixoff and unzip it. Give a few listens, then post up thoughts in a few day. Dave Friedman (aka the 5th lip) produced the disc, and his fingerprints are all over this; My initial impression is that Some Loud Thunder isn't the immediate knock out the S/T was, but they may have to do with how similar the production is to At War With The Mystics, and there isn't anything as transcendent as "The Skin of My Yellow Country Teeth," but the album as a whole may be a bit more consistent. I'll post a more in depth review after a few more listens, and I suggest you do the same

Michael

Blog Resurgence

2007-01-19T03:30:00.000-05:00

Wow...alright, new postings. I am definately excited to see new posts on this blog after a severely long hiatus/break/ memory lapse this site exists. I hereby state my intention to once again be a contributor here and i can find no better way to start than by saying this: She's not my special lady, she's my fucking lady friend. I'm just helping her conceive.

New features coming soon

2007-01-18T22:45:00.000-05:00

I recently found a website that allows for unlimited storage, so I figured I would make use of it and starting tommorow I was going to post some (whatelse) music that I have come across that deserves to be heard. I was gonna mix it up; maybe an album one day, a song after that; pretty much whatever strikes my fancy. And since I secretly one day want to be a music reviewer, and figured I would make some short reveiws to practice. And my first post I promise is good one

Vonnegut

2007-01-17T23:58:00.000-05:00

I've been plowing through Vonnegut lately. I read Cat's Cradle about a month ago and I thought it was a very solid read, but at that point I really had no idea what I was getting myself into, not even close. I picked up Breakfast of Champions after that, and felt like a new man, like life mattered once again, that there was something worth bothering with and this something was reading Vonnegut. Please read the book. Mike Y can attest that it's a quick read and funny as shit in the sardonic tone that we as a group have adopted. It's also heartfelt in an apocalyptic sort of way - you'll understand when you read it. Right now I'm "re-reading" Slaughterhouse Five, meaning I'm pretty sure I was supposed to read it in high school but never did. I'm almost done and I'm saddened because these are the types of experiences you never want to end. I am taking solace, however, in the fact that there are about 10 other works of his fiction I can bite into, but first, and this is actually what this post is about, I'm going to read a recent release which is pretty much as close as we'll ever get to having a Vonnegut autobiography. The book is called "A Man Without a Country," and it's being touted as an introspective look into Vonnegot the man. I'm not sure if this is good or bad, meaning I hope it's more funny than it is serious (and I'm sure it will be this way, actually). It's about 140 pages, and by the looks of the type settings you'll probably be able to read it in a day. I happened to come across it wasting time in borders, so I took it home for free with their employee book loan (my own personal retail library is pretty awesome, you must admit). I'll post again letting you guys know how I feel about it, but there's probably no need to wait, unless you're going to read Breakfast first.

New Edition of Infinite Jest

2007-01-15T19:07:00.000-05:00

Hey guys, I told you I was going to start posting again so that's what I'm going to do. For those of you who still have not read Infinite Jest and who aspire to do so, there's a helpful little nugget of inspiration in the form of a foreword to this new edition:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Acropolis/8175/dfw.htm
Dave Eggers writes this into, and I know a few of you have read Heartbreaking Work, so basically the guy isn't bullshitting you. Also, if you don't own the book, this new edish is 10 bucks so it's pretty much a no brainer.

2006-10-23T12:42:00.000-04:00

Sorry Y'all...this will be my last blog post...the wonders of google mean that anyone can read this blog, and the big boss man get worried about such things

Been a (on and off again) please

Mike

2006-05-09T21:30:00.000-04:00

This may rival farting preacher:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHfDtXh-wLQ&search=lebowski

I think the people that made this website may be pissed at us:
http://ifyouwillit.blogpot.com/

Beirut

2006-05-05T23:19:00.000-04:00

This post will be short, but important. The band is named Beirut. It is a 19 year old from New Mexico. His album comes out May 9th, and is entitled Gulag Orkestar. He describes the album as "swaying to the Eastern European beats like a drunken 12-member ensemble that has fallen in love with The Magnetic Fields, Talking Heads and Neutral Milk Hotel." And he is not kidding. And it is the best album I have yet heard this year.

Postcards From Italy

This is probably the best track, but you need to listen to the album to really get its full effect. Jump on the bandwagon before Pitchfork gets their skinny little hipster hands all over this shit

-Y

2006-03-26T13:22:00.000-05:00

haha, nuff said.....rock star

more pix here:
http://pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mikeyerdon/album?.dir=3494&.src=ph&store=&prodid=&.done=http%3a//pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/mikeyerdon/my_photos

Things I am Bringing to NYC

2006-03-13T17:48:00.000-05:00

An abridged list of things i will be bringing to NYC:
- Red Hair
- A Positive Attitude
- An Empty Stomach
- Lubrication
- A "Syracuse Full Blooded Irish" Tshirt, complete with illustrated Leprechaun
- Cheap Platic hat with elastic chin strap
- Beer Money
- Whiskey Money
- Sleeping Bag
- Rumpled Suit
- Rum, Sodomy and The Lash by The Pogues
- Autographed copy of Riverdance Live! on DVD
- Expired Metrocard
- Guiness Bar Towel
- Asprin
- Cheer

Trust me I'm Irish

2006-03-13T02:05:00.000-05:00

day in and day out THE day draws closer,
but for now if you ain't irish youre just a fucking poser.
oh but what a day, a day is St. Pat's
when we're all a bunch of mc's and O'fill-me-up-a-draft's.
so motherfuckers break out your green,
lets roll the out the Irish drinking machine.
down in the NYC it can all be seen,
oh how I embrace the unity of our team.
let the debauchery, the lewd acts ensue,
everyone knows green beer makes green poo.
yes i for one am counting down the days:

lets vomit in subways
and curse out cab drivers
yell slluuut at all the innocent female bystanders
lets pack in the guiness
and push out our chests
and belch our unquenchable thirst to death
lets do it with pride
and lets do it with style
if you aint expecting a hangover......

you're in denial.

~Traant

2006-03-09T18:59:00.000-05:00

Is V watching GMac singlehandedly save Syacuse's season at the Garden this week? Unbelieveable....

DiG!

2006-02-17T23:41:00.000-05:00

I saw this documentary recently called DiG! which should probably interest the other two readers of this blog. It was shot over something like 5 years and was released recently on DVD. The action follows two indie bands - The Brian Jonestown Massacre and the Dandy Warhols - for this length, beginning when both these bands were pre-record deal, because at this time both were hyped as the next really huge thing in indie music, possibly the next VU (how anyone came up with this is anyone's guess). But so it turns out that once this girl got into shooting this thing, the subject of her lens became much more specific, namely the lead singer and insane mastermind behind the Brian Jonestown Massacre, Anton Newcombe. This guy is seriously a roit - half musical genius, half Napolean Dynamite - and is probably 4x more interesting than the actual music and its progression.

I highly recommend this doc., and it turned me onto the Brian Jonestown Massacre, who I hadn't heard of prior to seeing this. (On a side note I'd listened to the Dandy Warhols previously and pretty much hated their low-grade brand of indie pop). You may or may not have heard of the BJM, but regardless there's good news for those who want a listen. Since Anton is indeed mad, he has no use for money (he was recording 3-4 albums/yr for about $15-$100/album. Their first, "Thank God for Mental Illness" was laid down for 15USD (I also recommend starting with this album for a listen (I especially like "Stars"))) and furthermore, believes no money should be made from the art of music, their entire discography is available to download for free from http://www.brianjonestownmassacre.com/mp3.html
The only downside is that they come is some sort of file type (starts with on "O" i think, but I can't remember what it's called) which itunes does not support. Further bad news for yours truly is that my free trial of the db power amp converter has expired, so i can't convert them (any suggestions?).

Always remember: There are two types of people in this world, my friends: those with loaded pistols. And those who dig.

Jeff

2006-02-16T14:29:00.000-05:00

What do you mean "brought it bowling?" I'm not paying for its shoes. I'm not buying it a fucking beer. It's not taking your fucking turn, Dude.

back to buffalo

2006-02-06T16:10:00.000-05:00

You might not have heard about my hasty departure from Buffalo. After the second robbery in a week, a robbery during which my driver's-side window was smashed but nothing was stolen (because my cd player had been robbed in a similar incedent a few days prior), I was incredibly pissed off. I actually didn't mind being robbed the first time believe it or not. Shit like that happens and if you think about it, it wasn't a totally pointless act. Someone broke the small corner window in the back and took a product which he could sell for money. The second time, though, right after my window had been repaired, some retard broke another window - a really big window (in the middle of winter) and took nothing. So that person got nothing out of it and I had to pay for another window, although worse than that was driving to my last final exam of my college career that frigid morning, driving back to my apartment still steaming, moving my shit out as quickly as possible because I couldn't rationalize staying there one more night, and driving two hours in the freezing cold at 75mph from Buffalo to Cuse with no music. Internally I was hot as fire but physically my legs felt like Gumby even with the heat on full blast.

But I enjoy Buffalo and I enjoy seeing my friends, so Thursday night - spur of the moment - I made my Ali-like return to Buffalo. My friend John Russo and I were actually going to head for Atlantic City because our friend had a room there, but couldn't rationalize 12hrs of driving when there are also two casinos in the Buffalo area. After finally getting out of work at 11:15pm we were on the road watching Old School in my friend's explorer and hit Buffalo around 2. This is when the fun began. We immediately hooked up with Telly (who says what up to stevy and mike y btw) and hit the bar for a couple good hours of drinking. Unfortunately I couldn't get ahold of rudy or nate, probably due to copious inhalation of marijuana smoke. Just as well I guess because Telly alone is enough fun for anyone to handle. We soon had taken many shots. All of a sudden Dallas comes out of the cut spot and we end up buying her and her friends many drinks, and I vaguely remember trying to have sex with Dallas only to wind up in her bed all alone because she was sleeping with her roommate Claire (don't ask).

Day 2 of our trip was going to be spent at Casino Niagra at the poker table, but we met up with a frien of mine from L'pool who goes to Canesius and we decided basically to attack the gym all day, playing raquetball, basketball and engaging in some light weightlifting. After that I pounded like four Gatoraides since I had an inkling we'd be doing a lot of serious drinking that night, the kind of drinking that should be considered for an Olympic event.

Sure enough, we soon get out the bottle of Three Olives (comparable to Goose and $10 cheaper) and I start drinking with my other friend Mike because John is in the middle of an online poker session during which he would end up losing 4500 USD (no joke). After that savage beating he had enough fuel in his tank for some seriously aggressive drinking, and that's what we did.

The first bar we went to was the only one worth mentioning. That kid Mike's friend was tanding bar so we made an appearance to show him some support. Remember Camel's Breath Vassallo? This place was just about the same clientelle-wise. No camel though, and instead of in the middle of a strip mall it was surrounded by rundown warehouses that towered around it. At first we couldn't even find the place, and were a little disappointed when we did. But of course we were going to drink there anyway. John bought about 5 drinks and 10 shots in one round and gave our man behind the bar $8 for his trouble, which caused a chain reaction of the manager blowing his load in excitement (that was probably half the money he took in that night), and basically a ton of shots shipped our way free of charge. I mean this place was a true dive and the weirdos all around us were just standing around staring at whatever and just being weird, hardly drinking. So we got sick of that place about as quick as we got drunk there (pretty fast).

After that stop, the night became pretty standard: we drank til 4, didn't pull any girls, went to Jim's Steakout where the line was out the door, so we went to a knockoff instead which served a great taco if you're into sauce that's suicidally hot when you're drunk at 4:30am, went back to the apt., found a box of Dunkin D's minis, and were presented with no other choice, in my mind, than to fire the minis at high velocities at each other in the apt.

After 36 hours of pretty illogical decisions we drove back to cuse with a cracked front window (not my car) not knowing how it happened. The end.

Jonathan Richman

2006-02-04T15:47:00.000-05:00

I am embaressed friends. I am embarrased that I am announcing my recent discovery of Jonathan Richman. I've been listening to his album I, Jonathan and every song is so interesting and inventive. If you haven't checked out Pandora (where I discovered) yet, do so and enjoy the fruits of web 2.0. I'm at work right now so I must go back to preparing our second month of testing Lehman Bros.' new structured deal review process (yes, it is as boring as it sounds). Quick thoughts before this blog ends:

Clap Your Hands concert was awesome.
I've invited many people for St. Patrick's day so I will be sending out a mass e-mail to figure out accomidations.
I miss you all (Y, Whi and Trent since you are the only ones who contribute and read)
Are you moving to NYC Y?
Seahawks by 10

V

Picks from '05, Slightly Belated

2006-01-28T00:16:00.000-05:00

my favorite albums of the year:

Standouts:

Wolf Parade - Apologies
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - st
Mountaingoats - Sunset Tree
New Pornographers - Twin Cinema

Stuff I like a little less, but which is still very strong:

Decemberists - Piquaresque (this was my number in the summer, but it didn't hold up all that well)
Iron & Wine (Woman King)
Bloc Party - Silent Alarm (the remix by various bands is also worth a few listens)
Antony and the Johnsons - I am a Bird Now
Broken Social Scene - st
S. Malkmus - Face the Truth
Jose Gonzales - Veneer
LCD Soundsystem - st
Of Montreal - Sunlandic Twins (I've always thought these guys were only good in small doses, but this album changes that for me)
Sufjan Stevens - Illinois (maybe this should be higher, but I didn't have 40 hrs. of spare time to devote to its complete digestion. maybe the album should be shorter.)
Vitalic - OK Cowboy (my ear for techno is unrefined, be advised)

I also listen to more than my share of rap/hip hop so here are a few from this year:
Lil' Wayne - Tha Carter II ("Stop bein' rapper racist" he's southern, get over it)
Cam'ron - Purple Haze
The Game - Documentary
Common - Be

Kanye's new one is OK, but not the masterpiece it has been hailed as.

Older bands I've first heard this year:
The Feelies - Crazy Rythems
The Stranglers - Greatest Hits - '77-'90
Andrew Bird's Bowl of Fire - The Swimming Hour

I've liked some other stuff which could be thrown into some random catagory but I'm too lazy to do that, so I'm just going to acknowledge it here. I've also strongly disliked some albums which, prior to their release I was hopeful for. And, as usually, there is too much to listen to and not enough time, so let's hear what really important albums I might have missed and should be listening to. Go '06!

Visions of St. Louis

2006-01-25T18:02:00.000-05:00

Two things happened to me recently. As a result of boredom and an existential funk I've been reading a lot and thinking about how I should be writing so that any skills I was developing during college, or skills which I once possessed would not be irreversably lost. It goes without saying I should also write to combat boredom. The second thing, resulting directly from thing A, is that I was re-reading the blog for both posting trends (in the interest of possibly starting where we left off, until digital evidence reminded me that our blog is the epitome of randomness) and for shits. I subsequently came across my "Visions of X" post in which I reminisced about Rope-a-Dope and it made me think about volume I of our camping expidition in St. Louis, the jagged memories of which will be elaborated upon.

After a near death experience right outside of St. Louis proper caused by a man stopping and exiting his pickup truck in the midst of speeding traffic, literally in the middle of the right-hand lane, to retrace his last 100 yards by foot for something he dropped out of his window (possibly a cell phone), we walked around the city for a while, hand a couple drinks and a good time, veered in the direction of a campground which we had picked more or less at random, based only on its location to us at the time and to the road we planned on taking the next day. This method of decision-making was our habbit and never failed to excede our expectations as far as I recall. After stopping for some goods at probably the dirtiest "grocery store" I'd ever seen (first time I'd seen certain parts of pigs being sold for human consumption, displayed in the cooler next to the hotdogs we were buying), which store was also chosen at random, we headed toward the grounds for some old-fashioned fun. We had one bag of grass, one handle of vodka, a 30-pack of some sort of beer I'd never heard of, 12 hotdogs with rolls and condiments, 12 eggs, many pages of newspaper and lighter fluid, two pocket knives, two acoustic guitars, some miscelaneous goods and a tent. Admittedly our stash paled in comparision to Raul Duke's, but it was sufficient for three good ol' boys like ourselves.

I once had a dream in which I was walking in a field and was suddenly acosted by countless mosquitoes in clouds so thick that I could not, no matter how hard I flailed, keep them out of my eyes, ears and mouth. I snapped out of that dream quickly enough, however this campsite was real-life, as far as I can tell, and the swarming mosquitoes were in huge clouds, ominous and dense. Or maybe it just felt like that because we had recently gotten high, but I remember being adament about trips into and out of the tent being kept to a minimum, and that the act of entering or exiting the tent itself being done as quickly as humanly possible in order to minimize the tent's mosquito intake. After I changed into pants and a hoodie about as quickly as Clark Kent changes into Superman, after the fire was built to pyromaniacal standards and only after I had a few beers in me did the mosquito situation seem to lull.

There is no way to know what happened that night, nor would it be possible to order said events chronologically, but we started to get severely drunk. This much is sure. At some point at least one guitar was played and then left on the ground in the dark. Whether or not Trent's guitar was broken in St. Louis has been hotly debated. We do in fact have video evidence of the guitar in question laying on the ground. Why it was there is anybody's guess. Now, someone may or may not have been stumbling drunkenly through the dark, may or may not have not seen the guitar, may or may not have tripped over the guitar, which may or may not have broken the neck of the guitar, and it may or may not have been Jeff White. It is believed that only God knows the truth, but given the evidence here on Earth, we were all partially to blame, it seems.

Again, I'm not sure what happened next (or previously?) but we ended up a good way down the road from our tent to smoke our next joint. The reasons for this venture cannot be recalled at this time. Sitting next to the hedgeline of a wooded area and occasionally diving into the longer grass to avoid the glare of the ranger's headlights (ah!, maybe we were down there because we were making too much noise and became paranoid) we smoked until I became completely retarded. If I had known it was possible to shit one's pants as a result of total retardation (inside joke), I probably would have thought I was going to shit my pants. Anyway, we talked about God knows what for Lord knows how long until we stumbled back to the campsite. Somewhere in the mix we lost the bag, though, which was pretty fat still considering we'd just bought it two days prior. Back to the hedge, retracing our steps, stumbling, diving into foliage to aviod headlights, etc., but no sack in sight. We gave up soon after, retiring with all available quickness into the tent. Out comes the video camera to record whatever drunked dialogue we thought we might have and, like someone was playing a prank, out flies the bag. Apparently Trent hid the bad in the case with the video camera for safety. "Smart thinking!" I yelled. "That way they get my camera and our weed." And who forgets not only where the weed was, but completely forgets that he hid it not 45 min. ago?

But like I said, we got slightly belligerent, hence the chaotic nature of these memories revisited. This is all probably very boring to you, but I assure you I am having an excellent, very un-boring time writing this right now (11pm friday night...what are the cool kids doing?). I can also assure you that it was fun at the time. If I remembered more specifics I'd love to bore you further with them. Sadly I can conjure only a few other fragments from which I could not create a coherent, contextualized sentence. But it must have been a Saturday night back there in St. Louis because as we drove away from our first successful camping trip of the journey, leaving a small mess, no money for the campsite and smelling like fire, I can't remember hearing, in my life, a more fitting song as Lou Reed sang to us about the ambiguous beauty of Sunday Morning.

jeff and mike's space/time

2006-01-25T17:55:00.000-05:00

Jef Whi3: i was just reading the blog and you blogged about smelly tony playing magic in the break room of delta
Jef Whi3: lol
mike0200: hahah
mike0200: yeah
mike0200: it isnt as funny unless you know him
mike0200: you didnt have the pleasure of talking to him either
mike0200: hes actually wierded than he looks
mike0200: which seems impossible
Jef Whi3: i can believe that im pretty sure
Jef Whi3: i dont think you guys saw this last night, but after he bowled ball one on a particular frame, i think he was trying to calculate something about his score
mike0200: haha
mike0200: no i didnt
Jef Whi3: so he closed his eyes, looked at the sky and started waving his hands wildly like he was doing math in the air
Jef Whi3: and i'm quite sure he never figured anything out, but rather he once saw someone do something like that
mike0200: hahaha
Jef Whi3: maybe in a movie
mike0200: he honestly reminds me of someone from a movie
Jef Whi3: he's too wierd to be a real-life person
Jef Whi3: he's part of my thesis that i've been unconscious, in a dreamlike state perhaps, for about the last month
mike0200: haha
Jef Whi3: when you arent doing anything life doesnt seem real
mike0200: you forget alot
mike0200: like i dont know what i did last week
mike0200: there like arent any markers to note the passage of time
mike0200: if that makes sense
Jef Whi3: ive come to really like doing things like catering or for instance helping my neighbor bring a huge couch from his basement to his garage because it feels like i accomplished something
Jef Whi3: yeah, that makes sense. time moves unusually quickly even though the moments seem slow
mike0200: blog it yo
Jef Whi3: we should just post this aim convo
mike0200: write about some space time differential
mike0200: hahamike0200: do it
Jef Whi3: ok
mike0200: im going to get ice cream with some seventeen year olds

Numbers

2005-12-02T22:07:00.000-05:00

Yooooo....

I don't know if anyone checks this anymore, but if you do, I would appreciate it if you would post a list of everyone's phone numbers, I got my phone stolen so I lost them all. I also have a new number: 443-569-2070
Thanks, peas out

~T to the rizzent

A few thoughts

2005-09-29T13:35:00.000-04:00

Lst night I went to see Ted Leo at the Icon. The sound was way better than when I saw Of Montreal there, and I would say it was easily better than when we saw these guys in Cuse. If I remember correctly the vocals were pretty bad at that show, but everything was great this time. Ted Leo rocked as usually, as did the drummer, and the bassist was fairly immobile, but his guitar is pretty heavy so I'm willing to cut him some slack. Ted kept his witty dialogue going in between songs even though the crowd was really interacting all that much. Ted knows how to roll with it, though. At one point someone yelled something inaudible, and Ted goes "let's embrace the heckling," and asked the dude to reiterate. Dude yells "Move around you flat-footed motherfuckers!" similar to the observation Stevy made at the last show when he yelled "move around, this is dance music!" 2 things happened: people who weren't moving remained so, and also Ted thought the comment was directed at him, and didn't quite know what to make of it. So he goes "Why don't you just say what you're really thinking: stop talking a play a fucking song." So they played on -- probably about a 1.5 hr set -- and I danced and Ted dripped sweat and even though I thought my bladder would explode for sure I couldn't leave the floor. It was a good show.

Observation 1:
Kids who listen to indie rock just don't move. Like a meager 5% of indie scenesters are actually cool, and the others are dorks who've found a niche where its ok to be dorky. They probably don't even listen to the music, but saw a review or something. It was cool that some people were dancing and knew the words. More than in Cuse anyway. So it's the old picking of one's poison: if there were no stiff kids going to these shows there would probably be no shows. But come on, Ted Leo is a fucking punk band! Move around!

2:
Tom Cruise should be institutionalized in the same padded room with Mel Gibson.

3:
Who the fuck cares if Kate Moss blows coke?? What model doesn't? Aren't there better things to talk about? Like Tom Cruise and Scientology, for instance?

4:
I've decided to ask John D. to cover Two Headed Boy from the front row of the Mountaingoats show this month. Is that rude? I love his music, but it's a great cover.

5:
The guys at Sportcenter have been using the line "You create something! Like inward singing!" I'm not sure if this is good or bad or funny or not.

6: Cold weather sucks.

Montreal; The New Brooklyn, With Huskier Chests

2005-09-23T22:31:00.000-04:00

Well friends, time for another post; and when I mean friends, I more or less mean Whi, but that is besides the point. Even though blogs seem to be universally renowned for documenting banality, I, being the the unique soul that I am, refuse to fit into this mold. But since I haven't willed a dream in quite sometime, I will do a quick update on my personal comings and goings, the proverbial potatoes before the meat one might say. I spend most days, upwards of 50 hours a week, thinly veiling my contempt for my coworkers, managers and customers that I come into daily contact with. Today, for example, I had a spazz attack because a manager would not let me place my cellphone in the carwash office. My previous work day, I had a similar spazz attack because my break was ruined when a fellow employee, who I have nicknamed "Smelly Tony," decided to play Magic: The Gathering in the breakroom while I was eating a sandwich, violating the unspoken rule that anyone who refuses to use deodorant is not allowed within 50 feet of me while I am eating. But this is besides the point; onto my real point that Canada is taking over Indie Rock. Broken Social Scene was the breakout band of 2003; Arcade Fire pulled the same shit in 2004; now friends, I predict Wolf Parade will do the same in 2005. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah is good, and prob in my opinion put out the best CD of the year thus far, but Wolf Parade certainly isnt far behind. If there was a band with its indie rock circles aligned, it is probably them; their debut comes out in a few weeks on Sub Pop, their drummer played the skins on "Wake Up" and their biggest fan and producer is Issac Brock of Modest Mouse . Imagine a drunk Arcade Fire or Modest Mouse if they were from Brooklyn and you get the gist of their sound. So get ready to name drop to some hipsters, cause you all are officially in the know...

Mike Y

Open the Pod Bay Doors, Hal

2005-09-18T02:57:00.000-04:00

I know no one is going to be jealous of me, but I'll just say anyway that I saw quite possibly my favorite movie ever for the first time on the big screen. Indeed, a film print of 2001: A Space Odyssey blew my hair back as I sat in the theater by myself (not including the other movie-goers). Yes, that is to say that on a Saturday night at midnight I went to the movies by myself. And what a great choice I made. I hope everyone gets his chance to experience this because the star child gave me goose bumps. I only aspire to some day become less of a dork.

Che

2005-09-17T03:19:00.000-04:00

I think the printing of all che guavara shirts and other paraphenalia should be banned. there's nothing i hate worse than seeing a good thing (man) being turned into a pop icon by dipshits who probably don't even know what the man did or who he was at all. every time i see a stupid white kid with a che shirt on i want to test his che knowledge and punch him in the face x number of times depending on how well he does. he automatically gets one punch for just wearing the shirt.

Let's say, for instance, that i wanted to root for hunter thompson by wearing a shirt with his face on it. i would expect you to hit me very hard in the nose. please, for god sakes, can we privately read our idols in the comforts of our favorite chair, analyze exactly what is being said/done, and then maybe change the world ourselves, or at least throw a piece of witty dialogue into the mix based on an event or piece of writing or whatever? Or maybe i'm way off and should start printing nietzsche shirts and hang em next to my pixies t-shirt because, after all, they're both just media that i take in, enjoy, and regurgetate one way or another. Hey, but at least i've read nietzsche, know how to spell his name, and appreciate him, and have my own oppinions about him. i'll bet half the people who've ever heard of nietzsche still think he's a nazi, which is fine with me - the less likely a chance he becomes a pop icon. My knowledge of the "slave morality" will possibly explain why you wear a shirt with the face of some guy who "liberated some people" (as i heard some kid in an elevator so eloquently put it) but regardless, i'm still going to punch you when i see you.

Take your policy and shove it up your tight ass

2005-09-16T16:07:00.000-04:00

I am choosing to use this short blog to try and alleviate the intense anger I am experiencing, if I was Vassallo I would have a huge vein bulging from my forehead ready to explode. Some policies are just fucking stupid, and the people who choose to uphold them, despite your successful argument to logically reduce this policy to sheer luncay, well.... they are fucking, A: unable to logically deduce anything and bound to follow orders all their life (aka, a fucking retard), B: a loathsome motherfucker who obtains satisfaction by exerting his power over others(aka, a fucking prick), or C: the actual person responsible for the existence of the policy who must uphold it in order to not admit what a dumb fuck he is (once again a fucking retard)......... fuck them ......... there ......... I feel slightly better now. I am sure you all can relate a situation that invigorated you with this same ferocious energy that has caught me in its rapture, probably several. These situations seem to be especially prevalent within educational administrations, which is rather ironic when you think about it. Who the fuck is responsible for these "Are you fucking kidding me?" policy decisions. I would like to know, I would like to punch them in the face and eat their children, maybe bite off a portion of their ear, I think they are just about as smart as the person I am alluding to.

Of Montreal at the Icon

2005-09-10T13:53:00.000-04:00

OK, good news first. Of Montreal put on a really good show. Their set was short, maybe like an hour and a half including their 4 song encore. They got the fairly small crowd (maybe like 250 people filling like 3/4 of the venue) moving around and dancing to the happy tunes. Wait, indie rockers rocking out? Way. I was a little surprised, but it's cool and hopefully most of the shows are like this one. The venue itself is small and personal, making it a good place to get up close to your favorite band, which band their seems to be a reasonable chance to see because this place has some good shows booked. It should also be noted that most shows are 10 or 12 bucks which is awesome, and you don't even have to get advance sale tickets. The money saved on tickets can be put to good use on a fistful of $3 Yuinglings, or whatever else you want to buy. They have copious amounts of beer and booze for like 4 or 5 bucks. There's also a large fenced-off area where you can simultaneously smoke and see the stage, which is pretty cool. I'm not sure how that's gonna work in the winter, though. The inside of the place is not at all nice, a typical dive, which is really cool. Fuck putting money into a place...it only raises ticket prices.
The only bad news was the sound, and I'm not sure if the guy on the switchboard was sonically impared, but he had the fucking volume on the two big hanging speakers at like 11 out of 10, which is cool except you know what happens to speakers, in your car for example, when you turn them up too like without A) ampage, or B) ability to use that ampage. It was kinda harsh, but at least you could hear everything, vocals included. Of Montreal is a good test band for this because their sound is so layered and dynamic, and it more or less came out fine. So that's my report on Of Montreal, a great live band, and the Icon, a pretty cool venue. So come up and see a show (Y) and we'll show off our whiteboy dance moves.

killer shows, man

2005-09-08T13:44:00.000-04:00

this message is more or less for mike y, but if any of my other friends or avid showgoers want to rock out with me some time, here are three shows that I will without a doubt be attending:

This Friday, Sept 9th we have Of Montreal. Tix 10 bucks, doors open at 8.

Wed, Sept. 28th we have Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. Tix $10, doors open at 6.
V, Y, and I saw these guys in Cuse and the show was great, except the vocals were a little hard to hear and the batch of indie scenesters surrounding us must have worn their tightest jeans and vintage sweaters, because they were stiff as fuck. Good show tho.

Ghostface has a new album coming out and he'll be here Oct 11th...I'll probably go to this one too. Hopefully I don't get shot because the best is yet to come:

The MountainGoats!!!!!!
My day has finally come. Monday Oct 18th, tickets $10 doors at 9pm. Come listen to dance music. I'm pumped.

These shows are all at the same venue btw, Buffalo Icon, downtown near where I live. I haven't been there yet, but I'll keep you posted.

Peas out
whi

a very neat pile of playboys

2005-09-07T10:10:00.000-04:00

has anyone talked to Parker recently? I've been wondering if Uncle Robert and any other family down there has been affected in major ways by the you-know-what.

Back to School

2005-08-29T15:42:00.000-04:00

Well my schedule sucks and you'll probably be reading a lot of pointless shit I'll be spewing onto the electronic page as a result. Since I'm downtown now, which is like 20 min away as opposed to the 3 min 15 sec drive last year, I can't go home between class even though on M/W I have 2 gaps of 2hrs. Therefore if you're ever at UB on these days from 12-2 and 3-5 you'll find me in the library reading, sleeping, typing or pushing pencil on various probability problems (which I'm taking half for shits, half because it might be handy if I interview for Sesq.). The other posability is to hit the gym and show up to my classes smelling of sweat. Yeah, I like that option. Yes I do.

current music recomendations:
West Indian Girl - ST
Clap Your Hands Say Yeah! - ST (This is moving up my top ten daily)
Cloud Cult - Good shit Y
Andrew Bird's Bowl Of fire - The Swimming Hour This is from '03 and I just discovered it... it's damn good.

mixes

2005-08-05T01:02:00.000-04:00

i think it's time for another mix before the summer's over. anyone got any ideas? i was thinking maybe just some summer tunage, a very loose guideline among loose guidelines.

Tame The Beast

2005-08-04T17:30:00.000-04:00

During my last visit to the 'Cuse, my mother brought to my attention that she had confiscated a case of Milwaukee's Best Ice from the trunk of the Mirage(the white car I use to drive circa 2000), and stashed it in the garage and completely forgot about it. She found it while cleaning out our garage for the move.... thats right, 5 YEAR OLD BEAST ICE! I decided to bring the case out that night just for kicks, ;) Actually, I couldn't resist trying one myself.... and what did I find? MY GOD! It tasted better than freshly purchased cold Beast Ice. In fact, it tasted like a fine barley wine, mmm.... ok, it wasn't that good, but it was indeed better than what you could buy in mobil's fridge. It packed quite a punch I might add, one can and I was buzzed. This case shall be reffered to as.... Beast ...Special Reserve. It would still be around for you to try had I not forgotten it at Blazedale's....damnit! However, Mike Y, Maria, and Lauren can all atest to the validity of the statments contained here in. I might add, each and every desire to purchase a young batch of Milwaukee's Best Ice, to begin the maturation process needed to obtain Beast Special Reserve, is not only condoned but encouraged. Enjoy, and be sure to call when you have a batch ready... I know I will. :)

Do you think they listen to Indie rock in pergatory?

2005-07-28T14:18:00.000-04:00

Someone said blog and I remembered just how sweet it is; If you will it that is. It frightens me to see those lists of top 5 albums of 2005 because I have slowly but surely neglected the sweet nectar that is Indie rock. I'm thinking of subscribing to this new service called Redpix. This fellow with a fantastic middle name sends you 5-10 albums a month for a small fee of $10 or a quarterly payment of a carton of camel lights. I think he also accepts other miscellaneous goods or services such as DVD's, booze, hookers, and late night injurious fall protection.

I recently took a trip to California and drove 1652 miles from San Francisco to Las Vegas to the Grand Canyon to San Diego. Here are a few of the thoughts I had:

1. Wait...I think I've been to this gas station before.
2. It's so refreshing to see Laney's breasts as opposed to Trent's chest divot while driving. Concurrent thought: It's not so refreshing to listen to Laney's music as opposed to Trent's.
3. Please Steve....save the pepperocini!
4. Cheesy Americans ruin the beauty of Sonoma and Nappa. Greasy, horny Italians make Tuscany much more appealing.
5. Ahhhh the Missions....that's where we barbequed. That's where we blew up glass bottles with fireworks. That's the computer Dan would use everyday while we waited.
6. R.I.P. Krishna.

It was a magnificent trip all around. Hope everyone is doing well. Let the blog reawakening continue.

V

Top 5 etc.

2005-07-27T21:01:00.000-04:00

I had this big, long post ready, sure to excite everyone but my computer froze at the critical posting moment. Therefore I'll just post my music selections out of laziness.

My Top 5 So Far this Year:
1. Decembrists - Picaresque
2. Mountain Goats - Sunset Tree
3. New Pornographers - Twin Cinema
4. Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - (self titled)
5. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm

Other Albums I've Enjoyed Very much: (pretty much a pool from which I'd fill in my top 10 (in no particular order))

Vitalic - OK Cowboy
Six Organs of Admittance - School of the Flower
Beck - Guero
Iron & Wine - Woman King EP
Frank Black - Honeycomb
Kanye West - Late Registration
Cloud Cult - Advice...
Lou Barlow - Emoh

Of course I still haven't downloaded/listened to many albums I've been meening to)

Worst Album Ever:

Weezer: Make Believe

Don't Fret, Good Buddy

2005-07-17T23:53:00.000-04:00

Since Trent is itching for some hot, blogging action, Im gonna satisfy his needs and give him a hot slab on Mike Y random thoughts, then Im gonna follow that up top five list of my favorite discs this year, so far....

Here are some random thoughts; feel free to add insightful meaning as necessary:

1. Im probably going to stay in Syracuse for another year
2. My top choices for grad school, in order: American, Syracuse, Georgetown, George Washington
3. Family Guy has never been funnier
4. Im considering painting my room a navy blue, but my mom disagrees with my choice
5. Karl Rove is a dick; he deserves to get shanked, possibly in the eye
6. City of God is the best movie I have seen in quite some time; plus you score extra points with film school elitists (ahem, whi) because it is both foreign and not in english. But they minus points immediately because its kinda popular anyways

And now for my preliminary best of list. This was a tough choice to make, mainly because I didn't know whether to put the ones I think are the best or the ones I listen to the most. I know that sounds contradictory, but there is actually a reason for it. My sweet beast of an automobile, as many of you know, is missing both a passenger window and a functioning exhaust system. This makes anything remotely quiet or subtle impossible to hear, plus its summer and I like happy stuff, so this list will certainly change in the near future

On to the List

5. Lou Barlow - Emoh
I love this CD so much, its just chock full of solid, honest and well written songs. Ol' Lou has never sounded better

4. Mugison - Lonely Mountain
Straight from Iceland, I like to think that Mugison explores volcanoes and glaciers all day, then comes home and records exactly what it sounds like, and by that I mean acoustic guitars mixed with bleeps and buzzes and and stuff that shouldn't be coherent at all but somehow is. Super bedtime CD

3. The Kills - Keep On Your Mean Side
Imagine the White Stripes; then image them if them if they were super mean, addicted to heroin and fuck buddies. That is what The Kills sound like

2. Bloc Party - Silent Alarm
A true crowd pleaser; I still haven't heard anyone who doesn't like this CD. 80s inspired, in a good way. Plus its good to see a brother get some action in the indie rock

1. Cloud Cult - Advice From The Happy Hippo
Really, I cant describe this CD. I can try, but it probably wont work. Take a good indie rock band with a guy singing that kinda sounds like guy from Modest Mouse. Then add equal portions of overt joy, Shins, electronics, Four Tet, Flaming Lips, Neil Young covers and hippos.

Anybody out there?

2005-06-06T14:12:00.000-04:00

The blog has gone stale apparently. I guess there isn't much sense in sitting in front of a computer screen when the nice weather has finally arrived, and the term has ended, undergrad studies for some. Anyways, I will be spending the summer in Boston, Cambridge to be exact (5 minute walk to Harvard, pretty sweet area). I was able to scorre a job supervising a bed and breakfast for the summer, I basically don't do anything and get to live there for free, and there is a baby grand piano in my room!!! I'm sure I'll be making a couple trips to Syracuse. Other interesting news: The Trent Family home has been sold! It's pretty sad, no more wild parties. My mom is moving to a townhouse over off Gaskin Rd, and my dad is moving to Baltimore. It is strange times my friends, many of you have graduated and will be moving off to various places, good 'ol Liverpool is really behind us. The next few years shall be very interesting. I hope everyone has a good summer, I'm sure I will see you all at some point, so till then.......

HOT

1. Long Island Beaches
2. My roof top in Brooklyn
3. Bonaroo in less than one week!

Cold

1. The Atlantic Ocean
2. L-train fucking service
3. The Yankees

Conversations with Scotty Y

2005-05-19T13:31:00.000-04:00

Below is an except from a conversation I recently had with my brother:

Scotty Y (S) - Tell mom to pick me up a stryofoam cooler on her way home.
Mike Y (M) - Why?
S - Im going camping tommorow
M - Sweet. Where at?
S - Indian Lake. Its in the Aidorondacks.
M - Do you have a cabin up there?
S - Its actually about a three hour car ride. Then me and 10 of my buddies are taking a two hour canoe trip down a river to an island thats in the middle of the lake
M - (laughter)
S - Shutup
M - Im guessing girls arent tagging along
S - Bitches suck at camping

Ask Min Jung; Classmate, Creative Writer, Asian

2005-05-06T16:57:00.000-04:00

Dear Min Jung,
As a graduating senior, I am more than a little nervous about entering the workforce, not to mention acting like an adult. I have yet to receive a job offer, and although I feel I am qualified for a variety of positions, I am a horrible interviewer. Do you have any tips that could help me in this way?

Sincerely,
Nervous in Los Angeles

Dear Nervous in Los Angeles,
Nina slowly approached the glossy, red door to ring the door bell. She took two deep breaths before she forced herself to push the ringer. The main reason she felt so intimidated into stepping back into the house was because she didn’t want her right foot to melt into the floorboards again. Not after it took her sixteen years to yank it out. That was only part of the reason. The other factor that made her nervous about entering the house was because the last time Nina was in this house, she left in a storm. It was the worst fight she ever had with her family, one that made it hard to ever forget.

Dear Min Jung,
Last week, I met a beautiful girl through a mutual friend. We hit it off real well, and later on that night we had unprotected sex. A few days later I noticed a small rash when on my penis, and now I have an excruciating burning sensation every time I urinate. I fear that I might have a venereal disease. Should I go see a doctor?

Sincerely,
Diseased in Minneapolis

Dear Diseased in Minneapolis,
Seth felt more like Nina’s mother, rather than an older sister. They were two years apart so their bond has always been close, despite Nina’s long leave from the house. He was born two and a half months premature, in the incubator for a month before the hospital released him. At twenty-four, he was perfectly healthy. But the premature birth left him with a learning disability and a slight speech impediment, being a constant obstacle in his schoolwork. Nina was Seth’s playmate as children, as well as his guardian, tutor, and friend. Even as little kids, she felt constantly responsible for him. Her mother always reminded her of duty as an older sister to take care of him.

Dear Min Jung,
Recently I was wearing a favorite shirt to a work related function at an expensive restaurant. They were serving a wine and cheese, at no cost, and after about my fifth glass, I made a pass at my boss, made an inappropriate racial comment and spilled the contents of my sixth glass onto my prized shirt. My question to you is, do you have any special Asian remedies to get out red wine stains? I really like this shirt and would like to wearing it again.

Sincerely,
Stained in Omaha

Dear Stained in Omaha,
Nina realized that everyone that knew their family viewed Seth as an immature person, lovable and kind, but someone who was incapable of ever thinking for himself. Everyone made decisions for him, protecting him from the real world. She never considered what it felt to be like Seth. Nina was too consumed in feeling sorry for herself. In the past, she always thought that since Seth was the element that melted her to the floorboards, by detaching herself away from was the only way towards her freedom. But now, she felt the idea was all wrong. Nina should’ve taught him how to live more independently. Just because he had a learning disability, didn’t mean he was unintelligent. It may have hindered his learning process, but nevertheless, Seth was a bright kid.

Thanks for mixes

2005-05-01T13:04:00.000-04:00

Well boys, I am about to dissappoint you. BUT...I have a valid reason that I hope will touch your hearts enough to make you forgive me. I will not be submitting a hungover mix of my own for your listening pleasure. Now for the reason...
I couldn't make the hungover mix when I was sober and not feeling like absolute shit because I wasn't in the right frame of mind. Well, today finally came the day that I am hungover. Quite frankly, making a music mix is the last thing I want to do right now. All I want to do is lay in bed, drink tea, and concentrate on keeping the massive amounts of bile I have in my stomach right where they are. Maybe hangovers resemble pot-smoking in a way. Potheads can function when they're high, but when non-potheads smoke they can't do a damn thing. Maybe I can't function on this day of recovery simply because I'm not used to the hungover feeling anymore. In fact, maybe I should just get high right now and inhale my way out of the wretched state I'm in.
I must say that I am thoroughly enjoying the hungover mixes you boys made. With your help, I shall overcome this hell. If I'm lucky (or just a normal 20 yr old woman) I will forget the misery of this day within the next week so that I can again participate in the everlasting college tradition of binge drinking.
Don't forget...new Family Guy episode today! I saw it bootleg, it's fucking funny, definetly worth watching.

I, came

2005-04-30T05:30:00.000-04:00

It's time to start blogging again. You dicks. Since it's 5:30 I don't have time for a wonderful extended analysis of something that'll surely change your life. (I would like to add that the title of my post is a reference to a movie that I know Vassallo knows, but I'd be surprised if anyone else does.) But I've been Night Putting lately since there's a golf course accross the st. from my apt. Night Putting. Putting at night with the 15yr. old daughter of the dean. That's another movie ref. but I seriously have been playing chip/put pig at 4 am. You gotta try it. But, until then...

go fuck yourselves,
whi

ps - you fucked it up! you fucked it up Walter!
pss- my dirty undies dude. the whites.
psss - i'm just making up for lost time here.
pssss - obviously you're not a golfer....

Top 3 Most Beautiful Iron and Wine Songs

2005-04-29T16:39:00.000-04:00

Although I've listened to Iron and Wine and the magical voice of Sam Beam often, I created a play list entitled "Iron and Wine Jumble" where I simply mixed up all their recordings into a random order. The jumble has played 3 times in full out my bookshelf Bose over the last 2 days. The one word that kept coming to me was "beautiful"....this fucking music is absolutely beautiful. Now I know this word is over-used at times but I can't help what pops into my head (i.e. the dreams I had the other night which occurred in no particular order: 1) Trent murders Ana Callabufo and I freak out because I think he's going to jail for life 2) Wilder scoffs at me while he blows multiple lines of white powder with "Rush Rush to the Ye-oh" playing in the background) and as a result I'm not going to apologize for using such a common adjective. Besides, I like to say beautiful as often as possible to describe a variety of situations, things and experiences (i.e. when my partner hits a shot in beer pong or when I blow a load into my red checkered boxers or when I drink a nice wheat beer or....when I hear Iron and Wine damnit). You might feel that a word such as soothing or lovely is a better way to capture the sound Sam Beam puts forth. If this is the case, write your own blog and I will gladly partake. Until then, beautiful it is. So, to borrow a cliche from wherever cliches lie and without further ado, here are my top 3 most beautiful Iron and Wine Songs:

1) Southern Anthem
2) Radio War
3) Upward over the Mountain

2005-04-17T19:03:00.000-04:00

Here is my take on the genre of the hangover mix. I feel like waking up with a hangover is a battle between good and evil, the ying and the yang, the ups and downs of weather you should feel great to be alive or shoot yourself for drinking so much/maybe even making an ass of yourself. There are also undertones of waking up alone when you didn't really want to. But, of course, by the end everything rocks and is alright. I thus present The Triumph of the Sun Over the Moon by DJ Whi. I'll AIM this to whomever, whenever. Keep up the good drinking!

Track List:
1. Sunday Morning - The Velvet Underground
2. Deep One Perfect Morning - The Jesus and Mary Chain
3. Somewhere There's a Feather - Nico
4. Down the Drain - Jon Brion
5. O Maria - Beck
6. Michelle - The Beatles
7. Devil Got My Woman - Skip James
8. On the Nature of Day Light - Max Richter
9. Here We Are in the Years - Neil Young
10. A Bunch of Lonesome Heroes - Leonard Cohen
11. In the Devil's Territory - Sufjan Stevens
12. Six Different Ways - The Cure
13. I Don't Want to get Over You - The Magnetic Fields
14. Can't Stand It - Wilco
15. The Boxer - Carbonleaf
16. Phone Call - Jon Brion
17. Dry the Rain - The Beta Band

WellHungOver, Vol. 1

2005-04-17T14:12:00.000-04:00

As the second entrant to this illustrious mix compilation competition, I respectfully submit WellHungOver, Vol. 1. Lovingly selected and mixed by DJ Mike Y, WellHungOver, Vol. 1 is reminicient of waking up next to a beautiful girl after drinking too much charcoal filtered spirts the night before, you may have not have intended on it, but your damn glad that its there. Also, WellHungOver, Vol. 1 will not talk incessantly while you are trying to sleep and makes a damn fine cup of joe as well. Rock Bitches

1 - Jukeboxer - Pilgrim
2 - Bugs - Rush Hour
3 - The Kills - Gypsy Death and You
4 - Wagon Christ - Night Owls
5 - Feist - Mushaboom (Red Demo)
6 - Billy Holliday - Strange Fruit (Tricky Remix)
7 - Bonobo - Noctuary
8 - Amon Tobin - Stoney Street
9 - Donovan - Get Thy Bearings
10 - DJ Shadow - Six Days
11 - The Books - Motherless Bastard
12 - Four Tet - Everything Is Alright
13 - Rogue Wave - Man-Revolutionary!
14 - Van Morrison - Slim Slow Slider
15 - Nina Simone - A Little Sugar in My Bowl
16 - Nick Drake - From The Morning
17 - Nikka Costa - Nikka Who?
18 - Jolie Holland - Alley Flowers
19 - Archer Prewitt - The Way of The Sun
20 - Tom Waits - Jesus Gonna Be Here
21 - The Wrens - This Is Not What You Had Planned

IbMusic

2005-04-17T11:12:00.000-04:00

Well everyone, after hours of listening, testing and drinking, it is time to post the hungover mix. The name of my mix is IbMusic because it can soothe not only that malt liquor headache but the spotty memories of last night's tomfoolery as well. Mike Y. has suggested we use AIM to send each other the files. That sounds like a plan to me. Let me know when you want it.

1. Grieg - morning mood
2. The Band - the weight
3. Muddy Waters - louisiana blues
4. Ella Fitzgerald - let's do it
5. Pink Martini - je ne veux pas travailler
6. Dean Martin - little ole wine drinker, me
7. Neil Young - thrasher
8. Micah P. Hinson - as you can see
9. Mary Lou Lord - farming it out
10. Mirah - monument
11. Devendra Banhart - will is my friend
12. Iron and Wine - waiting for superman
13. Pearl Jam - yellow ledbetter
14. Guided by Voices - how's my drinking
15. Tom Waits - martha
16. John Lennon - watching the wheels
17. Bright Eyes - the invisible gardener

58:23

John Darnielle's Blog

2005-04-11T14:40:00.000-04:00

This is great. The mountain goats' john d has a blog. http://www.lastplanetojakarta.com/index.php

Bass Mini-kegs

2005-04-09T12:32:00.000-04:00

Go to Wegmans beer section and you'll see these little kegs of Bass. They have something like 15 beers and cost 18 bucks. They're fucking tits! After you drink all of the sweet ale, you can decorate your room with it. Rock bitches!

Lebowski

2005-04-04T23:34:00.000-04:00

She's not my special lady friend, man. I'm just helping her conceive.

2005-04-02T17:34:00.000-05:00

This is less a blog entry and more of an annoucement: This mix off is on. Theme has been set as "Hungover Mix." Contents will be judged on song selection, flow and overall awesomeness. Final submissions are due tenatively on April 17, 9:00pm. The mix can be no longer that 60minutes. Post the final tracklist on the blog and that will be that....enjoy

Protein Shake Overdrive

2005-04-02T16:01:00.000-05:00

So I just made a protein shake and I am currently drinking it. My usual protein shakes contain the following ingrediants: 1 scoop of chocloate protein powder, 1/2 of a banana, 2 teaspoons of natural peanut butter, and around 12 oz. of skim milk. Today, after approximately 5 hours of re-arranging economic data on excell, I decided I wanted some fucking caffeine in my protein shake. What is the best way to do this though? Call me crazy but I went straight to the caffeine chalace of power and began cooking up 4 scoops of foldgers. I didn't want to put in a full cup of coffee into my protein shake though so I only put about 2 oz. of water into the coffee maker. I'm not sure if the upper machine knew I wanted to sqeeze all the caffeine from those 4 scoops of foldgers into those 2 oz. of water though. Despite this, I said fuck it and threw in the 2 oz. of blackness into the blender. When I drank the finished product, 2 things went through my head: a) Why is this protein shake luke warm? Wait, I just poured in hot fucking coffee...that's why. b) Are those little bits getting stuck on my toungue coffee grounds? Uhhhh, yep....they sure as shit are.

What is the moral of this story? Should I not have tried to blend magic protein with magic American upper drink? Or maybe I should just stop drinking magic protein? Or maybe I should have put some fucking ice in the blender and maybe I should get a new fucking coffee aparatus. Either way, my biceps are tightening as I write and my brain has found a new found love for excel spreadsheets so I'm out.

Fuck it, Dude.

2005-04-02T12:50:00.000-05:00

Randall and I were at the bar last night and it was pretty dead and I was a little disappointed. It was the first time I'd been out in Buffalo in a while and now I remember why: it fucking sucks. Since I really didn't give a fuck about anyone there, I didn't care about my actions either. So I tell Randall that I'm going to go up to the one really hot girl in there and say "Damn. You got a ballin' ass ho." He laughed and bet me $10 US that I wouldn't do it. No sooner than he says this does she actually walk up to us - she walks up to us - and basically just says hi. The thing about this move is that no girl does this unless she has a boyfriend or unless she has some other reason to just play little games where the end result never ends up in the sack. It was predetermined and I knew it. So when I said "Damn! You got a ballin' ass ho!" I didn't feel like I was blowing a good opportunity. Everyone I was with erupted with laughter. Randall, of course, didn't pay me my $10 US but said he'd buy me a drink.

But so this girl didn't seem put off at all by this statement, and seemed to enjoy being the subject of our laughter. And I keep talking to her and since I had nothing else to say I asked her where she was from A: Cuse. Q: where in cuse? A: Liverpool. Q: what year? A: 2002. I told her I knew Lauren and the Ippster and some other people and asked her with whom did she chill? A: Corrine Mclaughlin. There's nothing more to tell really; this story is a one trick pony but funny none the less. And that girl's name was Keleigh Thomas. Maybe some of you know her.

Debauchery, I mean Debaser

2005-04-02T02:51:00.000-05:00

Look, there's no way I can be blunt about this: the best film ever created is Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey. Period. The moving image has been around since the 1890's, and it has taken man until 1968 to make the film - which hasn't been replicated since - that defines the cinematic experiance in terms of beauty and emotion. Of course this is subjective, and of course I'm drunk (although I'll claim and argue this statement sober).

On a side note, I'm wondering how people feel about the fact that I'm watching a dead man's art. Does this make Kubrick immortal? Is he not immortal, yet something is to be said about affecting numerous people after death? Would you take the nihilistic view and say that these facts are irrelevant because man will some day be extinct? I tend to lean towards the latter.

Anyway, I'll also post my Debaser review. And this is just for fun. Er, not complete fun, but practice w/ language and form. If I've left out musical elements like the surf rock influence etc. it was because I don't know everything there is to know about music and the pixies, and also becuase my time is far from infinite. So if your name is Mike Y, only comment unless you have trouble with (or love) my writing skillz.

When Kurt Cobain strummed five simple power chords back in 1991, the unmistakable opening anthem of Nirvana’s flagship album Nevermind inspired a generation to boycott high school, haircuts, shampoo, and clothing without holes. “Smells like Teen Spirit,” the undisputed rock theme song of the Nineties, did much to revitalize alternative music, revamp the slacker image by renaming it and its musical representation “Grunge,” and to annoy the hell out of conservative parents everywhere. Indeed, Opal Drive in Liverpool, New York was the site of many arguments over whether a man abusing his vocal chords constituted music, and if in fact this sort of seethingly angry tone coming from some unwashed man from outside of Seattle was appropriate for a ten- year-old boy’s ears. “What do you have to be angry about?” my mom asked. “Tell me!” But parents know it’s impossible to keep their children totally sheltered, and unless they’re dealing with something like hardcore drugs, it’s usually not worth fighting – my Nirvana CD kept spinning.

One day I was watching MTV and running down my Grunge checklist. I had already ripped my jeans and lifted some old flannels from my dad’s closet, but I was desperately trying to figure out how in the world I could turn my shaved head into shoulder-length hair before I was thirty. All of a sudden, there’s Cobain on MTV doing an interview. Ten-year-olds hardly know what modesty is, so when I heard Kurt say he didn’t know what the big deal was about “Teen Spirit,” and that he was just trying really hard to rip off another band called the Pixies I almost shit. I remember thinking to myself I bet the Pixies can’t scream as loud as Kurt Cobain. Turns out I was wrong.

Black Francis’ vocal masochism is easily comparable to some of the best controlled howlers in the history of rock, and the Pixies’ front man’s skill is never more apparent than on their second full-length album Doolittle (1989). Easily the Pixies’ finest work, Doolittle has become one of the masterpiece albums of the Eighties. All of the jagged, frenetic energy of their previous album, Surfer Rosa, seemed suddenly transformed into a more accessible source without any of the runoff which usually corresponds with this kind of overhaul. “Debaser,” the album’s opener and the song to which the Nirvana influence is often attributed, sets the vigorous tone by packing a deluge of sonic octane into a tight three-minute span.

A simple baseline quickly opens into the high-pitched distortion of Francis’ guitar, and at seven seconds, when guitarist Joey Santiago lays down one of his trademark guitar riffs – simple and catchy – “Debaser” is immediately recognizable as vintage Pixies. At this point it is only a matter of time; Black Francis’ presence is like a looming shade, but when his voice hits the track he is very real. His abrasive voice, not yet at his typical scream sings: “Got me a movie/ I want you to know/ Slicing up eyeballs/ I want you to know/ Girlie so groovy/ I want you to know/ Don’t know about you/ But I am un Chien Andalousia.” What immediately sets “Debaser,” and Doolittle as a whole, apart from previous Pixies work is a focus on songwriting. These lyrics were inspired by the short Surrealist film Un Chien Andalou, made by Bunuel and Dali in 1929, in which an eyeball is sliced with a straight razor. This remains one of the most shocking cinematic images ever, with a seemingly endless ability to make audiences squirm. Of course the spoken version is decidedly less shocking (unless you’ve seen the film), but this sort of hermetic reference or cryptic imagery is what fans have come to expect from the Pixies. Songwriters like Black Francis exemplify the alternative mystique because who else is going to sing about slicing up eyeballs? Fans of alternative music have already decided that the best place for cheesy songs about love is in the vinyl scrapheap, and therefore have gone everywhere searching for a man with Francis’ aspirations: “Wanna grow/ Up to be/ Be a debaser!”

The Pixies’ I-don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and their energetic pacing seem to be derived mainly from the Punk Rock scene that was so influential to their music. Most of the choppiness of punk – quick starts and stops, and cutting in and out of tracks, for instance – although prevalent throughout the album, barely manifests itself in “Debaser.” The climax, though, follows an offshoot of the Punk formula. At about a minute an fifteen seconds, all tracks abruptly stop, except for one guitar. This is the highlight of the song, showcasing the pure, unrestrained ability of Francis’ vocals as he wails “Got me a movie/ Ohhh oohhhhh!” Indeed, this raw force might be too much for some to handle, but the final highlight, providing the necessary balance to all the abrasion, is bassist Kim Deal’s angelic echo of the word debaser, which is a soothing presence to counter Francis’ projected anger.

So now I’m going around telling my mom I’m going to be a debaser when I grow up, which gets her mad. “I’ll slice your eyeball!” I yelled before she grounded me. But one problem was solved: Black Francis’ head was shaved. Bald. Now all I needed to do was find a Bic. “Mom!”

Lebowski

2005-04-01T08:31:00.000-05:00

"My art has been described as highly vaginal. The word itself bothers some men...... Vagina."

Robert Creeley 1924-2005

2005-03-31T20:24:00.000-05:00

As an English major I read ocassionally (yet I still don't know how to spell, I'm sure that's spelled wrong). Poetry isn't my thing at all, but I do like really like some of it, and Robert Creeley was a good poet. He wrote a lot of stuff in the beat era (like late 40's through the 50's) but isn't really a beat poet. Last I knew he was still a professor at UB, so I'd see him around occasionally. The guy was pretty easy to find because he only had one eye. I would give you a link but I can't find a single article written about him yet -- maybe we at UB have the inside scoop or something -- but his shit is worth glancing at on the net or something. It's the kind of stuff that you don't have to be a poetry buff to enjoy.

Rope a Dope!!! (went up to your face and dissed you)

2005-03-31T19:56:00.000-05:00

For those of you who don't know, Trent is occasionally known between Vassallo and me as "Rope-a-Dope." Trent knows about this joke (God, it took him long enough to figure out we were even talking about him). We developed this nomenclature on our way out to California for reasons which I will not disclose to you. Seriously. I'm just going to leave you hanging.

Thinking about our Cali travels got me thinking. I know many of us have been places that the rest of the peons, slaves of capitalism, slaves of fear, etc. etc. and general untermuench have only dreamed of. Even though we've traveled with people (usually) I've always found that each trip is highly personal and subjective. Therefore, if you will it, I'm going to start writing about chunks of various journi that I've taken as they pop into my head. Because it is no dream! It's real, and I think two things: writing about it helps you remember intricacies, and reading about other people's shit is fun. So I'm going to start posting under the title "Visions of X" where I fill in X with a place that I've been (mainly so if these vision bore you, you'll know to skip them) and I hope other people do the same, but I won't feel bad if you don't, and if you think my idea sucks, and if you think I suck.

OK, I'm not going to do that to you -- I'm gonna tell you about "Rope-a-Dope." I think we probably listened to Paul's Boutique like 5 times on the way out to Cali. You know "Sounds of Science:" before it gets pretty cool and crazy, it goes "Rope A Dope!!! The Newest in NEW!!! Went up to your face and dissed you. (Bamp!)" We were like obsessed with this, and I still am probably, but we would say it all the time. Then at one point, we were in the parking lot of a motel somewhere so we could rest for the night. It was somewhere in the midwest, probably our stop after St. Louis (which is a story in itself). Trent was doing something, either trying to check in, or fucking around when we were about to leave, and me and Stevy are chillin by the car. One of us made a comment about how Trent brought so much shit that he had to tie a fucking rope around his duffel bag to keep it all in. At that point, one of us, I'm not sure who and it doesn't matter, yells out ROPE-A-DOPE!!!!!!!! From that point forward, Trent was called "rope-a-dope," and the phrase was uttered each and every time A) the trunk was opened and there's Trent's bag, B) whenever he was re-roping the bag, C) whenever we felt like it (and we felt like it a lot). It took Trent probably two months into our stay in San Diego before it occured to him that he was Rope-a-Dope.

So there's a little slice of Cali for you dudes. There was also a "palate-boy" scenario, something about a titanic air mattress, a stale roll traveling at a high velocity (from an unknown source I might add), firecrackers, midnight ping pong, gay gentlemen getting verbally assualted because of midnight ping pong, lizards, snakes, jakes, tunas, and much more. I can't go into it all.

Lebowski Line of the Day

2005-03-29T10:26:00.000-05:00

"Huh? No! What the fuck are you talking--I'm not--we're talking about unchecked aggression here--"

hipocrite

2005-03-28T19:23:00.000-05:00

So today I was at work taking a test(yes, i have to take tests at work for the gayest of things) and my supervisor informs me of a breakin over the weekend. Aparently, some kids broke into best buy on Easter. These kids were only 10,11, and 13 and managed to get into a "highly secure" store. NOw you may be asking how 3 children were able to get through the gates. Well, you see, the gates were never locked. They simply pulled it up and walked in. This by no means is the crime of the century but when i asked who was closing manager that night, my sup told me that he and a previously mentioned, much hated, higher level manager were the ones closing along with a store security person. My sup asked for a few more minutes to finish up what he was doing while the manager talked on the phone expressing rather vehomently that he wanted to get home and he will be there shortly. They left the store late Saturday and the break-in occurred Sunday afternoon. When i heard this story and what manager forgot to make sure the gates were locked i literally yelled, "Yes! His ass is gettin fuckin fired!" But, alas, my dreams were cut short when my sup told me that he didnt even know if disciplinary charges would be brought forth. This got me and a fellow co-worker who was also listening pissed. I mean this manager tries to get me fired for being 3 minutes late and supposed insubordination. I called the company line to report misconduct and filed a report (hopefully the other employee did the same). Im not a tattle-tale type, but this hipocritical fuck deserves to be ratted on the way he treats his employees. With any luck this jerk-off will get whats coming to him and be unemployed next week.

The Grounds

2005-03-26T20:09:00.000-05:00

Remember when we used to park at the insurance agency and then walk back to the grounds for some good times LHS style? Well, Trent and I parked there today to hike back to our old territory and shoot a roll of film for a project I'm working on. It's no longer an insurance agency, but a law office by the way. After all my film stock is spent, we're walking out of the woods and I notice this car out by my car. I'm carrying a bag full of props and shit in one hand and the Bolex case in the other. Trent's wearing this white shirt, red tie, blue sport coat (which is way to small for him), greyish slacks, and brown boots. Also he's covered in mud. The lady gets out of the SUV with her husband and they walk up to us. (She's the one that wears the pants, by the way, if I may use that phrase. I know this because she does all the talking while her husband stands by looking both meek and embarassed). "Were you guys fishing?" she asks. Yeah sure. Here's my pole biotch. I told her we were making a film because she failed to add up all the parts. Or maybe when her family goes fishing they dress up in salvation army-type dress shit and roll around in the mud. She then lectures Trent and me about how I'm parked on private property, how the cops are going to call my parrents, and how I should tell my friends not to park back there. I'm astounded. You guys fill in the blanks.

2005-03-25T13:17:00.000-05:00

So I was doing a little CD perusing today, and I came across a pretty sweet compilation coming out in a few day...reminds me of something I would make...

1. Decent Days And Nights - The Futureheads
2. Goodnight And Go - Imogen Heap
3. Fortress - Pinback
4. On The Table - A.C. Newman
5. To Be Alone With You - Sufjan Stevens
6. Play - Flunk
7. Scarecrow - Beck
8. The View - Modest Mouse
9. Hardcore Days & Softcore Nights - Aqueduct
10. Cartwheels - The Reindeer Section
11. Eve, The Apple Of My Eye - Bell X1
12. Champagne Supernova - Matt Pond PA

And who is putting out this compilation you ask? Well friends, I will tell you. Its The O.C. Mix Vol. 4. Whoever puts together the music on that show has some damn fine musical taste, no joke. Vol. 3 was a indie rock christmas mix that was a hit around the Yerdon household during the holidays, and their taste just seems to be getting better and better. Dont hate....

P.S. If youve never heard Imogen Heap then give her a listen...one of my new favs

- Mike Y

So

2005-03-24T19:29:00.000-05:00

So I'm sitting around thinking about whether starting a post or some other writing with the word "so" technically counts as en media res or if it's just a good friendly talky way to start something. I'm high on coffee, of course, and this is the type of shit I think of when I'm high on coffee. That and also how bad I have to shit, except that we have no tiolet paper, and I'm really just too lazy to go out and buy some.

For those of you who have TiVo, or some digital recorder from your cable provider, I'd like to recomend recording films off TCM, which are comercial free of course, and watching them at your liesure (how do you spell this word?). I've been crunching some numbers and come up with a formula: TiVo + TCM = free film school.

I've gone to the TCM website and wrote down infinite films that I'll record onto video tape because they aren't just stupid shit that your grandma watches, but actually staples of film history. My calandar looks like I have a lot to do, but really it's just all jammed up with titles/showtimes. Here are a few:

Tonight: (4:15 AM-8AM)
Notorious (Hitchcock)
My Man Godfrey (Both have Criterion dvd releases if that means anything to you)

Friday night (2-4 AM)
La Strada (Fellini) also criterion
also a Fritz Lang movie, which I didn't write down the specifics for becuase I have it already.

Sunday (Midnight)
The Passion of Joan of Arc (Dreyer (silent)) also criterion

Tuesday:
2PM Sullivan's Travels (Sturges) also criterion
2:15 AM Key Largo (killer noir film. check it out.)

There are a few more, and my month of april is also completely booked up. I'm really excited about this invention. And guess who did it baby. Me! (A little D in there). Man, coffee fucks you up. By the way, banning steriods from baseball is like banning coffee from academia. I'm in a mood tonight!

Lebowski Line of the Day

2005-03-23T09:28:00.000-05:00

"Well, yeah I did, but I spent most of my time occupying various, um, administration buildings--"

fulfill your duty, men

2005-03-22T14:41:00.000-05:00

Considering the overwhelming majority of males in this group/forum, whatever the fuck it's called, I decided that this entry would be appropriate. Let me start by saying that this is not so much an amusing anecdote as it is a call for action. My faith in the male species has taken a terrible beating. I call on you men to restore that faith...if not for my sake, for the sake of your brothers. Now I will reveal the source of my disappointment.
It all started on a Saturday night at Binghamton University. My desire to go downtown and get drunk with all the fraternity and sorority bitches being long gone, I accepted an invitation from some friends with an offer to smoke pot and perhaps play beer pong at their place. I had my hesitations, considering that I had never hung out with these boys except for our random meetings downtown or our daytime procrastinating when we lived in the same building freshman year. However, I decided to broaden my horizons and do something other than my common nighttime activities, which consist of getting high and watching Family Guy.
After getting about a million phone calls wondering when I was coming over and asking me to bring some pot smoking appliances, I finally showed up around midnight. Upon arrival, I noticed the abscence of a beer pong table (disappointment #1) and the feeling anxiety that filled the room. "Maria, should we open the windows, we don't want the smell to be overwhelming? Maybe we should get water or something? You brought a bong?? I dont know how to use those!" (disappointment #2). Needless to say, these boys were avid gym-goers and though some claimed to be ex-pot smokers, I was beginning to have my doubts.
I thought that every single one of them was going to die after each hit they took, despite the fact that half the time I was clearing the majority of the smoke for them (disappointment #3). After that fiasco, one of them proceeds to whip out a karaoke machine...mind you, nobody was drunk...and starts singing cheesy 90s love songs (I don't think I need to label my disappointments anymore, they're getting to be too frequent, and I'm sure you all get it by now).
At this point I took out my cell phone, and as I'm typing "HELP ME!!" to a friend, I got called out. "Ooooh, look at Maria. She's tryin to be all slick in the corner with her phone...she's probably text messaging Sandra like 'Damn, these boys are pussy's, they can't handle weed'" I tried to get out of it with some bullshit but let's face it...I was high, I'm a terrible liar, and they were exactly right. Of course I felt guilty after and couldn't leave right away so I was forced to stay longer than I wanted to...and I didn't even get to send my text message.
As the time passed and the ridiculous behaviour ensued, I realized that...even though I had the only vagina in the room, I also had the largest ballsack. One might think that, being the feminist that I am, a realization like this would've made my night. Instead, it made me extremely sad. You know that metaphorical light of hope that's inside everybody? Well my friends, it dimmed that night...and it has yet to shine as bright as it used to.

'Cuse Bound

2005-03-22T13:29:00.000-05:00

I will be back in the 'cuse from Friday-Monday for Easter, looking forward to seeing you fuckers! I figured a blog was a good way of informing people as opposed to making phone calls.

Lewbowski Line of the Day

2005-03-22T07:15:00.000-05:00

"Your wheel! At fifteen em-pee-aitch I roll out! I double back, grab one of 'em and beat it out of him! The uzi!"

"spring" break

2005-03-22T00:24:00.000-05:00

Since others posted their spring break adventures I figure I'll jump on the bandwagon. Most of it was spent working, sleeping, and almost geting fired(again), but one day sticks out as the simultaneous peak and low point. I will start the story toward the end of the lunar day while I am still working. Nearing the end of my shift (Im a customer service rep @ Best Buy for those not in the know) I apparently said something wrong to one of my "superiors". I say apparently because i still dont know what i said to make him get so....stung, for lack of a better word. He tells me to pull my drawer and get in the office. I dryly told him that I cant do that which further serves to get him angry. Sitting in the office with my supervisor counting my drawer and this nazi glaring at me, he asks me if I know what condescention is. I say yes, and look blankly at him for a second until i realize he wants a definition. I give it trying to sound as much like Websters as possible. Clearly dissapointed that i could give a better definition than he ever could, he tries to tell me that i have a bad attitude and that it needs to shape up. Then he goes off in typical Napoleon (Bonapart, not Dynamite) fashion saying that he could be getting me fired for such insubordination. At this point i ask what hes talking about but he ignores this and goes on a whole speil about how hes going to be the best whatever at whatever he does. Typical managerial verbal oatmeal spewed from his mouth. Inside im laughing at this guy because somehow he thinks we just became friends. Anyway i get sent home early as "punishment". Home, i learn of some oil wrestling going on at a local club/bar. Upon entering we find that it only has a few dozen people in it. Its still early so we grab a booth close to the stage and get some pitchers. As time draws nearer and nearer to wrestling the club doesnt get any more crowded, but something catches my eye. The back side of a hot ass girl dancing perks my spirits some until she turns her head and i see who she is. Shes the girlfriend of another friend. I get up to go say hello but stop when i see the guy shes near start rubbin on her and touching her innappropriately. Instaed of pushing him away like any girl with a bf should do she laughs and giggles like stupid high school girls do in that situation. Her entourage is near our table so i sit down and decide to see what the deal is. She walked by my table several times and made the eye contact of someone who doesnt want to be noticed. You know what im talking about, you look at someone but as soon as they look up you loook away. But i had her beat for I was allready watching her and when our eyes met i shot her daggers. I start thinking of ways to call up my friend and explain to him that his girl is cheating on him. Then, the unimaginable happens. Her boyfriend walks in. Again i get up to go talk to him but immediately sit back down when he sees her and drags her into a corner. It probably wasnt the best corner to be in seeing as it was brightly lit and the club was close to empty. They were behind me so i kept giving shifty glances over my shoulder. From these i gathered he was fuming mad (which is very bad seeing as the kid has anger management issues), and the girl was crying. He left without incident and left this slut behind. The rest of the time there passed without noteworthy events (the oil wrestling turned out to be beer wrestling with 6 of the un-hottest girls they could find. Im just glad they werent fat) except that there was one patron i must mention. This guy had the face of grisly adams and the body of tall tobey maguire. Dressed in light brown coruroys and a dark green shirt buttoned to the collar he proceeded to traverse the emptying club from one end to the other, pausing momentarily at each end. This went on for the duration of our time there. After much persuasion by me, we departed back to lpool for some pizza. FYI- Twin Trees pizza seconds fresh from the oven is the best ever. We killed the pizza then went to some persons house in phoenix. whatever. what else am i gonna do at 2am? being the only sober one i just wanted to sit down and finally get some intoxicating substances in me. We arrive in 15 mins and are flagged down by this hot ass chick running in the street. finally-i thought- some action! we park and learn that one kid in the back has passed out. we said fuck'em and the three of us and the girl enter. The time is close to 3 now. It was only planned to go inside and get some shit and be out in 15 so the one in the car would be ok. what we were getting was cocaine. let me take this time to say that i do not advocate the use of coke but if thats your thing, whatever. Inside i grab a beer, sit down and gratefully chug it. The apartment is modestly sized and while not dirty it wasnt entirely clean either. The girl that flagged us in was almost my height (6ft) carzy dark hair and a killer, yet very thin, body. the other two in the apt were a meaty looking girl dressed in sweats and a guy who looked like....i dont know...a guy, who cares what he looked like. On the small glass coffee table was a few lines laid out. The guys i came with each took a line and sat in some chairs. they talked about how long the connection was gonna take to get there with more coke for them. At 3:10 it was stated he should arrive in 20 mins. The hot one comes over to the couch and sits next to me. she starts talking about god knows what and then it comes out. see this-she picks up a picture on the end table- this is my daughter, shes six. huwhaaat? Now i started noticing the toys and shit lying ina box next to my feet. I guess this chick was 26 or some shit. by the looks of her body youd never know she passed a child. At 4 people were inquiring where the guy was with more blow. Some how the kid who was passed out in the car makes it in the place, by himself or with the guidance of someone i dont know. The guy who was there when we arrived had a few grams of him own they were sparingly doing but the supplier was going to bring more, better shit i guess. They end up doing all the rest of his and still want more. its roughly 445 now and he goes to meet the kid somewhere for an 8ball. 520 rolls around and we notice he still hasnt returned. he is called and we learn both him and the dealer are stuck in the snow somewhere way down the road. We saddle up and leave the one kid who once again passed out on the couch. after pushing a lowered truck and integra out of a snowed in driveway and a snowbank respectively we return to the hotties apt for more line blowing goodness. for them anyway. all the while i remain on the couch enjoying the abundance of conversation that any stimulant brings. All of this girls curtains were so heavy they could block out a nuclear blast so it was impossible to tell whe the sun came up. The time was only brought to my attention when the person passed out next to me regained consiousness and said "What the FUCK! its eight-FUCKING-am! What the FUCK are we still doing here!?" We tried to get the other 2 to leave but they wanted to stay and finish the few lines left. and with all the blow in their bloodstreams theres no way they were sleeping anyway. Reluctantly i took one of their cars and went home, personally i was content with staying. I like learning about other people and hearing their crazy coked out stories. I also dont like abandoning friends in starnge places but what the hell, this kid really wanted to leave. So we get home and i sleep for a few hours and begin a new day. {holy shit, this was really long (i didnt mean it to but i got in the zone)and thanks for reading my random-ass story. so post some feedback on it damnit. i want to know if these type of stories are good blog material. "you suck"' is as welcomed as "your a genius"}

Lebowski Line of the Day

2005-03-21T18:42:00.000-05:00

"Does this place look like I'm fucking married? The toilet seats up man!"

Titles are Overrated

2005-03-21T18:34:00.000-05:00

Ive been listening to a ton of new stuff lately....here is some shit you probably havent heard of but may very well enjoy...fire up Soulseek and enjoy the goodness. PS...Im too lazy to post mp3s anymore...too much work to wade through the assloads of crap that is out there

K-Os - Joyful Rebellion - How this guy isnt blowing up every radio station here to San Diego is beyond me. Real good alternative style rap, with the single "Crabbuckit" easily the best song I've heard all year...kinda reminds me what "Hey Ya" would sound like if you replaced the 60s sound with a New Orleans jazz band

The Kills - No Wow - Can't get enough of this cd...stripped down, angular and punky, and when i say stripped down, I mean skin and bones; vocals, guitar and drum machine only...and I mean that in a good way. Check out "The Good Ones"

Amon Tobin - Bricolage - Latlely Ive been attempting to listen to alot of techno, mainly cause Im getting kinda bored with indie rock. Finding good techno is more difficult that it seems Ive found, mainly cause most techno either causes a seizure or is elevator music. Amon Tobin is different though...real laid back beats, mixed in with some sick jazz samples...if i had a girlfriend, i would bang her out listning to this....check out Supermodified if you like Bricolage

M.I.A - Arular - I dont know If Im actually allowed to like this type of music, but I do anyways. Shes kinda the indie Seal Paul, except shes from Sri Lanka and grew up in England listning to reggae and house. Really catchy if you give it a chance, and she just got signed by Jay Z, so get on the band wagon now before she blows up

Lewis and Clark or Magellan?

2005-03-21T15:04:00.000-05:00

So I've returned from my adventure and before I blog to the maximus, I want to first list my travel schedule from March 8th until the 10th:

Tuesday, March 8th
4:30 a.m. : Wake up
6:20 a.m: Board plane and sit there for 2 hours because of bad weather.
10:00 a.m: Arrive in New York
12:00 p.m: Flight to Paris cancelled. Re-book to London. Also had to re-book flight from Brussels to Pisa to London to Pisa via cell phone with roommate Frank. Sidenote: When traveling, one must have the mentality of Mr. Wolf
6:00 p.m: Board flight to London
Wednesday, March 9th
7:00 a.m: Arrive in London after short flight delay
7:45 a.m: Take tube to central London. Walk around and enjoy the nostalgic/bizzaro feelings erupting inside of me.
1:00 p.m: Take a the National Express bus to Stansted airport in London.
2:30 p.m.: Sit in Stansted and look at all the rotten teeth of Europeans.
6:30 p.m: Board flight to Pisa.
10:00 p.m.: Arrive in Pisa
10:30 p.m.: Take bus to Florence
11:30 p.m.: Take cab to Laney's house
11:45 pm.: Arrive at Laney's house
Thursday, March 10th
12:00 a.m. - 3:30 a.m: re-aquaintance with Laney (i.e. sex)
3:30- a.m. - 5:00 a.m: Sleep
5:00 a.m: Awake (kind of) and take taxi to Florence train station with backpack and wheelchair in hand (Laney had a broken ankle).
6:40 a.m: Board Eurostar train to Naples
10:40 a.m: Arrive in Naples
11:00 a.m: Take cab to port of Naples
1:00 p.m: Board boat to Sorrento
1:40 p.m: Arrive in Sorrento
2:00 p.m: Take bus to central Sorrento
3:00 p.m: Walk to Hotel

This is mastery level traveling that tests the mind, body and breath (it's get pretty damn nasty although I did take a wonderfully fufilling Puerto Rican shower at Heathrow airport ala McDonald's on the U.S.A. trek). Now you all may be asking yourselves why I wouldn't check any baggage. Let me tell you friends, checked baggage is just another way to fuck your traveling up. When my flight from Paris got cancelled, I needed to be nimble since I wasn't sure what flight I was going to end up on. Had I checked a suitcase, I may not have been able to get it onto the new flight. Another important travel technique is to create a suitable sleeping environment. For instance, it is really hard to sleep on a plane sometimes so you must find other ways. I slept in the back of my bus on the way to Stansted airport. I also slept at Stansted. When I refer to "slept", I am actually referring to "the greyhound haze", a term I coined way back Freshman year when I traveled 72 hours on a greyhound.

When we finally arrived at our hotel in Sorrento, I went onto our seaview terrace that overlooked the Mediterranean and the atrocious schedule I just went through was more than worth it. Actually...getting laid for the first time in 8 weeks was worth it as well but I don't want to sound too masagonistic. Anyways, I shall post Pisa asap. Hope y'all had a good spring break/another meaningless week.

Buffalo really sucks, and

2005-03-21T14:44:00.000-05:00

Jackie Treehorn treats objects like women, man!

Multiple Lebowski Quotes, Making Up for Lost Time

2005-03-19T13:58:00.000-05:00

"And a good day to you sir!"
"Is this your homework Larry?"
"You see what happens Larry? You see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!?"

have a nice day

Sup Y'all

2005-03-18T00:32:00.000-05:00

Hey y'all, just got back from the dirty south. Actually Florida, but close enough. By far, the word of the trip to Daytona beach was sketchy, replacing debauchery. Although much of what I did and saw was pretty clearly debaucherous, the city itself had just an overall sketchy feel about it. Where Mike Y was correct in his assessment that debauchery is an experiance or something like a know-it-in-your-gut feeling, so too is sketchyness. For instance, Florida's water is sketchy rather than debaucherous of course. The motel with the sign hanging in various pieces from the crumbling facade which read "The Beautiful Beachside Ocean Inn" is quite sketchy. I met one person named Sketchy Lisa and another named Sketchy Ben. I'm not joking. And they weren't together either. I'm basically a walking zombie right now - with a considerable tan of course - so I'm gonna pass out for like a day and get back to you guys (feels good to say that again) on this one tomorrow.

Retard says what?

2005-03-15T17:43:00.000-05:00

This is a brief synopsis of a conversation I had with someone this weekend:

Me: "So what kind of music are you into?"

Him: "Uhh..... I don't know, different stuff."

Me: "Like what for example?"

Him: "I like a lot of 80's music I guess."

Me: "So like what bands are you listening to?"

Him: "Uhh... I don't know, I like a bunch of older punk music."

By this point I realize that this guy is a total herb and probably rarely listens to music, choosing rather to spend his time programming, which in fact is what he does for a living. However I continue to probe in order to reach some conclusion about his musical taste.

Me: "Like the Clash, Sex Pistols, that kind of thing?"

Him: (aside to his girlfriend) "What bands do I like listen to?"

Her: "Rancid, NOFX, the Sex Pistols......" (she mentions a couple other that I don't remember)

Now I am really perplexed. Is this guy retarded to the point that he doesn't even know what he listens to, or does he just listen to his girlfriends' music, never having aquired his own affection for music? The latter is quite disturbing to me, the thought that there are people out there that are not into music! I am also astonished that this squirrelly fellow has a girlfriend. Now I am fed up and decide to pound the rest of my beer just to give myself an excuse to leave the conversation, but before I can exit he adds one further detail.

Him: "Oh, you know what are great?"

Me: "No, what?"

Him: "They have these compilation discs called Punk-o-rama, they have about fifteen to twenty songs from various artists, and they only cost like 10 bucks. They've made twelve of them now, I got em all, they're awesome!"

Me: "Wow, thats cool, I need another beer, excuse me."

So with that said I left to replenish my beverage, now being able to say that I've met one of those imbeciles that buy those stupid fucking compilations they sell on televsion. Whenever I talk with someone like that I swear I can feel myself getting stupidider.

Hot and Cold

2005-03-14T16:12:00.000-05:00

As of 3/14/05

Hot

1 - Chilling the fuck out - Replacing 2004 staple of Settling the fuck down as preferred method of mood control
2 - The Kills - What is it about 2 piece faux blues bands that really get me going (I'm looking at you, The Black Keys and The White Stripes)
3 - Summer for The OC - Both witty and attainably hot, edging out Marissa with her scandalous lesbian relationship with Alex fading fast
4 - Terrance Roberts - Insertion into starting lineup has added much needed hustle and offensive rebounding
5 - New Orleans Thieves - Stevy was right, although I hate to admit it. My initial loss is turning into a massive gain, as I have recently purchased a sweetass camera, with laptop and Ipod purchases looming in the near future

Cold

1 - NCAA Selection committee - Syracuse a 4 Seed? Possible Vermont-Michigan St-Duke-UNC-Illinois road to the National Championship? I would like to see the supply of drugs they had when determining that an acceptable seeding for the Big East Champions
2 - Waterbeds - Lack of back support and disorienting water flowage makes for an uncomfortable sleep
3 - Ryan from The OC - The nice guy from the wrong side of the tracks needs to add a third face to his repertoire; expanding on both the sad face and the hurt face
4 - JJ Redick - Is there any player in the country easier to hate? Nope, didn't think so
5 - Nubuk Leather- I have managed to ruin two pairs of Pumas already this winter because of the fragility of this specific type of suede leather

Top 5 and bottom 5 ~ isms

2005-03-12T00:56:00.000-05:00

Top 5
1. atheism
2. nihilism
3. existentialism
4. utilitariamism
5. anarchism

Bottom 5
1. naziism
2. sadism
3.masochism
4.creationism
5.alcoholism (depending on how you look at it)

Bon Voyage

2005-03-10T18:09:00.000-05:00

Many of you are now entering that annual celebration known as spring break and heading off to exotic lands to ingest your fair share of unalduterated fun, which so many of you have suddenly found it entertaining to call debauchery! I wish you all a grand time and may all your debaucherous dreams come true. I on the other hand happen to attend the only college in the fucking country that has their spring break at the end of April, I guess I'll be missing the party. No! Fuck that! I am not going to let that stop me! I have decided to book myself a trip to the epitome of spring extravaganzas, Cancun! Once there I will drown myself in tequila, chasing it with Corona cerveza, and take to the beach, where I will consummate the debauchery by masturbating to my hearts content in front of the bewildered locals!

Hot and Cold

2005-03-10T17:59:00.000-05:00

HOT

1) Having personal access to state of the art recording equipment and software
2) Being single in NYC (estimated female population= 4 million)
3) Not having a job!

COLD

1) Lack of L-Train service to Brooklyn
2) Being called obsessively by your ex
3) Knowing inevitably that you will have to get a job

Death of a Girlfriend by A Miller-light

2005-03-09T17:34:00.000-05:00

This past weekend marked the end of my short-lived relationship with a foriegner. Keeping with the theme, she was the one terminated, not me, so do not feel bad or express pity over the situation. Although I enjoyed the time spent with her, I ultimately came to the reckoning that she is a bitch, obsessively pessimistic, and perhaps a pathological liar. Enough about my reasoning, that is not the true topic of this blog. I would rather discuss the etiquette one should adhere to during a break-up when they are fulfilling the role of the terminator.

MY GUIDE TO THE WORLD OF "BREAKING-UP"**

The Terminator:

1) Do not be overly-sensitive to the others feelings, unless you want, and think, you can be friends. If you do not want to be friends this will only make the process harder. It will install an impression upon the victim that there is still a chance of working things out.

2) A subsidiary of rule#1: Have a few drinks before the execution: this will make it easier to say what you really think, and doing so will prove beyond a reasonable doubt to the victim that the relationship is over.

3) Have the execution at their place or, if you have not been seeing them that long, over the phone. This will prevent making a scene in public and allow you to leave the situation anytime you feel necessary. Also, if you have possesions at their place that you intend to keep, this is the perfect time to take them back in order to avoid an awkard meeting later on.

4) DO NOT FEEL GUILTY, it is your life. It is your right to see whomever you want. If breaking-up is what you want to do then that is all there is to it. Do not patronize yourself for doing something that was in your best interest. Do not feel that it is your mission to turn this person into a better human being, you do not owe anyone that responsibility except your children.

5) There is no need to justify your reasoning to the victim. You know why your terminating them and thats enough.... besides they will never be able see themselves as you do, and if perchance they can, well better luck to them next time.

6) Do not believe them when they tell you they will change, most likely they will not, and isn't it the point to find someone you love for who they actually are?

7) DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH THEM or show them any affection. This will make it harder for them to get over you and is simply selfish and cruel.

8) If you have truly made up your mind: Do not let them talk you out of it, do not be a pussy.

** I am in no way the most insightful or experienced individual concerning the topic. These are merely some basic guidlines that I feel can be helpful to others. These guidelines are not numbered in order of importance, and they do not necessarily pertain to every situation and circumstance. Feel free to interpret them as you may.

What's spinning in my cd player or hard drive

2005-03-09T00:31:00.000-05:00

This stuff isn't necessarily new, but here's what I'm listening to and really enjoying.

Stuff I can't get enough of:
Six Organs of Admittance - School of the Flower
Iron & Wine - Woman King EP
RJD2 - Deadringer
Jolie Holland - Encondida

Stuff I like, but in smaller bursts:
M83 - Before the Dawn Heals Us
LCD Soundsystem
Leonard Cohen - Dear Heather This album is really wierd and I like it, although not as much as Songs from a Room, which is one of my favs.

I'm thinking about getting an iPod but the thought makes me a little ill. Maybe I'll get the small one and just hawk it on ebay after a little while...

Please put my Playboy's back in monthly order

2005-03-09T00:05:00.000-05:00

It's been about a month since we made our pilgrimage to the land of debauchery, otherwise known as New Orleans, and at this point I think sufficient time has passed to reflect on the trip. Of course these memories will be brief and scattered because that's what happens when one submits oneself to hardcore debauchery and hardcore ingestion of alcohol. But here goes:

I now know the exact mixology of a Hurricane, and have drank so many to know that Hurricane mix is able to tint urine a sundownish color of red. I know that when you eat crawfish, you should call them mudbugs, and that if you don't suck the head you'll be looked down upon by the natives. I know they call em mud bugs because they live in the mud, which is everywhere in New Orleans because I also know that the average altitude is ten ft. below sea level. I know that the city of New Orleans judges the economic impact of Mardi Gras by gather all the garbage which and weighing it over a period of about three weeks. I know that taxi drivers can teach you all sorts of useful informations. I know that every night the average height of garbage in the streets in 4.2 inches -- high enough to make a drunken walk home at 5am seem like a trek through quicksand. I know that the ensignia on the Saints helmet, which symbol is found everywhere down there, is known as the Flor de Lis (or something French) and was adopted from a royal family. I know what gumbo and jumalaya is and what it tastes like, and that it isn't really that good even if it sounds exotic and enticing to Northerners. I know that a Po' Boy is just another name for a sub, particularly one that comes on French bread, and that the name was adopted because some guy used to make sandwitched for poor workers, and that again, even though the name sounds cool, I haven't eaten one that tastes one tenth as good as a Wegman's sub. I know what 6 pounds of beads feel like around your neck. I know how it feels to be hit with a caroming necklace of beads in the back of the head and neck (thanks Y), and also know how good it feels to whip a set of beads as hard as one can at an unsuspecting balcony patron and hit said patron in the face. I've seen people hawking copious quantities of beer and mixed drinks out of recepticles that you might think twice about booting in if it came down to it. I've seen port-o-potties overflowing with human excriment as you pee in them, and have thought it rather assinign that you can't just piss in the street because of this. I've had infinite brain freezes because everything tastes better in the form of cold slush. I know that "trim" is slang for pussy, as I was told I'd see a shitload of trim. I know that the dude who informed me of this was not exactly a liar. I know his wife was pretty hot too. I know that six straight days of the heaviest drinking you can imagine really takes it out of you. I know that after six of these days, you don't really mind crashes for a few hours, six people in a room big enough for 1 and a half. I know that Y has a pair of white bower briefs that will be forever red. I know you shouldn't bring valuables to the land of debauchery. I know you should carry your wallet in your front pocket, stick together, stay away from alleys, and never piss in the street. I know that prolonged exposure to debauchery makes you snap out of sleep every five minutes, which becomes really annoying and also makes you think you might be dying. I know I knew a lot more before my brain cells up and left, and I know I'll think of a lot more stuff like in the form of acid-flashback-like memories. But if I know anything, I know you should visit.

Travel

2005-03-08T11:24:00.000-05:00

If I'm not mistaken, a member of this blog, one Stevy V, will be traveling to Europe in a day or two. It is my understanding that the level of dificulty of this particular trip will require abilities as a traveler which borderline on superhuman. On this adventure Stevy V, in order to be successful, must swing across vines, walk over the heads of aligators, and avoid hidden traps and of course the natives. Er...that's Pitfall I think. Anyway, the journey will be suspenseful and epic, and would probably make for great reality TV. Let's just say Wilder wouldn't be able to make it, but, with Stevy's sharp analytical skills, years of traveling experiance, and overall expertise in the field, he is no Wilder. I have every confidence that he'll make it in one piece: he'll walk up to Laney's door with only one backpack cause he's a light traveler, a copy of the US Taxmaster's guide under his arm (reading material), and say "No big deal. It's only an ocean, right?"

As for me, I'll be going to Florida Thursday morning. Really early. You know what the sun's all about when it hasn't even risen yet. I'll be thinking about the sun as I embark on my journey, which does not exist on the same scale as V's by the way, and when I get off the plane I'll have a whole week of warmth. I just know it. I'll be tanning on the beach with some fresh squeezed Heinekens. Man I like Heineken. Don't you guys like Heineken?

So have a good break if it applies to you, and I'll see most of you when I get back to the Cuse next Thursday.

Lebowski Line of the Day

2005-03-07T09:34:00.000-05:00

"Whereas without batting an eye a man will refer to his 'dick' or his 'rod' or his 'Johnson'."

Let's try that again...

2005-03-06T20:00:00.000-05:00

What up! Feast your eyes on the newest fuckin blogger to hit the bloggin scene. I haven't heard much about this till just recently and it is some cool-ass shit. So I may be postin frequently. But until then...Rock the Fuck on!

Sup Y'all

2005-03-06T19:59:00.000-05:00

Lebowski Line of the Day

2005-03-06T18:46:00.000-05:00

"And what do they got, Dude? My dirty undies. My fucking whites--Say, where is the car?"

Lebowski Line of the Day

2005-03-06T00:07:00.000-05:00

No line on Saturday.....Shomer Shabbas.

Top One Thing at 11:00pm on Saturday

2005-03-05T22:50:00.000-05:00

Yellow Tail Shiraz....makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside

In or out

2005-03-05T17:23:00.000-05:00

Cuse. Are you in da fucking house or not. Make up your minds. There are 16 minutes left in the game and if you're not going to be in the house, I don't think I can watch you lose another one to UConn. I just can't. Cuse, you are making my stomach hurt. I'm hovering over the toilet but nothing comes out. I'm pacing back and Forth, wringing my sweaty hands, pulling my greasy hair. If only you would make a three point basket, Cuse. If only you could convert, just once. I yell "One Time!" but to no avail. Why, Cuse, year after year, do you treat me this way? What have I done to you? I open up to you and you shut me out, Cuse! Why!? Why can't you just be straight with me, just once! At least tell me what's going on. That's the least you can do. Leaving a person hanging by a thin rope, a rope not even thick enough to hang himself by the neck, it worse than anything. Death is better than this living hell. Oh, Cuse. Please! Are you in or out? In da house or out of the fucking house. Please, Cuse, come back into the house. For my sake. For our sake...

Bliggity Blog Ya'll

2005-03-05T12:22:00.000-05:00

Well, well...my very first bloggage! And what not better blog to join than one that quotes the state of israel!! rock on mike y!

I don't have anything incredibly cool to say yet....but don't worry.

I'm leaving for London in 5 days!

peace out boozebags